Are you actually going to send this to someone? If so, it's really good. Maybe be a bit more specific (I don't know the situation and probably never will, so don't take what I say too seriously) so that this person knows what's going on. Having them guess just isn't going to get the point across.
On the other hand, if this is going to lead to a story, it has really good potential. I definitely can see the situation, a pained character trying to make something work. And to me, that sounds extremely interesting. What really drew me in was your description, which was extremely enticing. Good job!
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