Pfft their lies the question as to wear there red pens get stuck.
Overall:
Your title alone caught me and thus I was ensnared. Those folk with their red tinged hands, just make my eyes twinkle. Old lessons are hard lost, but if one of those police is strong enough. They can drop by my port and grasp their hearts.
Novice as I am I spotted your small spots and smiled. A devish? I think so!
Sometimes its hard to guess, so I've found by reading the bio block you sometimes have a little luck. Grammer mistakes can be unlearned and they can also be picked up. Throughly enjoyed this little piece!
Suggestions: None, though who does not like having fun with the grammer police? I'm a devish with them for sure.
Format: short story outline of larger W.I.P = Work in Progress
Overall feelings:
Though this is a work in progress. I felt compelled to keep moving down the page. The readers own mind tells them what is happening, but there is a sense that maybe they are guessing inaccurately.
Your descriptions are vivid and you have incorporated a vast majority of the major senses. Your writing has been like viewing a picture, though painted with words.
Your main characters feelings on the subject matter are very apparent and distinct. I even chuckled about the coffee table and generations to come. You incorporated a spattering of humor into this work which is done rather well. Given the subject matter and that alone appealed to this reader/reviewer.
The way you have cover from death to new life is well written and it makes this one soul smile. I'm not a god bothering type, but your writing has made me smile and chuckle. Not everyone perspective on life and death are the same. Within this piece you have shown the reader a small amount of your own views and this is commendable of you.
Suggestions:Denotes my word selection changes and typos that may have niggled at my eye.
It would help greatly if the work was broken into smaller paragraphs. Larger run on pieces as this, tend to be a bit off putting to prospective reviewers.
Suggested paragraph break: I enjoy the peaceful calm lapping against me like waves, soothing and distracting. Directly after this I feel would be the first place a paragraph could be placed.
I've only taken a small liberty of showing you a way to break this piece up into easier to read paragraphs. My suggestions are exactly that. It is ultimately up to you to decide which avenue you wish to take.
Additional Comments:
I've enjoyed reading this and it appeals to me, that with recycling of the souls we come back into the arms of someone we knew in past lives. These types of tales are a good read and provide not only the reader with food for thought. But cleaves open a debation on the theological aspects.
Well done!
I saw no obvious spelling or grammatical errors, instead finding myself captivated by your craftmanship with words.
Your short description compelling; only piquing the interest even further.
The item type was correctly and aptly choosen.
Specific Thoughts:
I felt this poem as I read. As I am sure many other souls have done countless times.
Overall Impression:
This piece shows a sadness that was felt at the point of writing and I do hope that it has passed.
Emotional Reaction
Even though reading it you inevibly know the outcome, you compell your reader to keep going and see if quiet possibly they may be wrong in their own assumption.
Favorite Part The best line as a non poetry reviewer for would have to be: {colour: red}“Doot” came reality when the call died. It alone shows that sinking feeling when no one answers their phone.
Please note this review does not go through public review forum if I make any suggestions, this is for you the writer as I will more than likely be compiling small typos or suggestions for your piece. It would be a breach of copy write if I place this into the review forum with your work displayed in this way. It is also I consider rude! Denotes my word selection changes and typos that may have niggled at my eye.
Format:
Image - Illustration - Friendship
Overall feelings:
After having read {item: I poked around your port. I am now pleased that I did. Though I am not huge on the anime side of things. This image provides a clearer picture of the characters that you described in the above mentioned item.
They are certainly clear and colorful. You designed your own image, I hope so because this is good.
Hello RisanF, I am here on behalf of "Invalid Item" for which you left a review request.
I am <=] ** ~~>, I do apologize for any delays that may have occurred while you have been waiting for the review/s to come through.
First I'd like to say that I agree this should be broken down into several segments. It is a rather long read for one sitting, this could be done at the places that you have already indicated with the use of the asterix's. However, my suggestion is that in doing so, you add a link to each new segment at the end of each chapter. Thus enabling the reader/reviewer the opportunity to click the link and go into the next part easily.
This has been a really enjoyable read and your descriptive use of words has been a delight to this reader. You have a firm grasp on using the words to your best advantage and that of the story itself.
The opening paragraph or prologue is well written and intriguing enough to keep the readers eyes traveling down the page. It is followed with a diary exert, that shows the reader that there is a character in the story, that is engrossed in her hobby and that she hold one person quite dear.
It is a tale of a young girl, who is basically a loner and has one dear friend. It goes on to run the gamut of emotions that is felt by both the characters and their ways of dealing with peer group pressure. It also shows that the author has taken the time to research some of their subject matter, therefore adding a hidden lesson on biology and in this reviewers opinion. Any lesson is a great lesson!
Suggestions:Please note that if I do make any suggestions this automatically makes the review a private one. This is due to my not wanting to violate your copy write and I feel it would be very rude of me to show it in the public review area.Blue denotes suggested word or my questions on a area. Red denotes niggles to my eye.
Please see private email for suggestions.
Overall Impression:
This is an exceptional read and one that I would recommend to many writers, reviewers and readers throughout writing.com. The author shows a wonderful grasp of descriptive word usage throughout the works and I feel that with the assistance of other writers/reviewers this piece of prose could easily come up to a five star rating and possibly publishing.
Please if you do happen to be reading this, drop in and check it out. It is really a throughly enjoyable read.
No matter how old you get, if you can keep the desire to be creative, you're keeping the child in you alive. So Keep writing and smiling
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Invalid Merit Badge #random
Hello Billi, I am here on behalf of "Invalid Item" for which you left a review request.
I am <=] ** ~~>, I do apologize for any delays that may have occurred while you have been waiting for the review/s to come through.
Opening description is really good and you create a vivid mental image of your character, he comes across as very threatening. Phoenix, is obviously the central character and you really show an air of mystery about him.
This alone makes the reader want to get to know his story and what has made him come across in such a strong fashion of independence and a certain private aloofness.
Suggestions:Please note that if I do make any suggestions this automatically makes the review a private one. This is due to my not wanting to violate your copy write and I feel it would be very rude of me to show it in the public review area.Blue denotes suggested word or my questions on a area. Red denotes niggles to my eye.
Overall Impression:
I'd like to say I am indeed curious enough to read the next chapter and see what else this author has to reveal about this character and his story.
No matter how old you get, if you can keep the desire to be creative, you're keeping the child in you alive. So Keep writing and smiling
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Invalid Merit Badge #random
Please note this review does not go through public review forum if I make any suggestions, this is for you the writer as I will more than likely be compiling small typos or suggestions for your piece. It would be a breach of copy write if I place this into the review forum with your work displayed in this way. It is also I consider rude! Denotes my word selection changes and typos that may have niggled at my eye.
Nil errors observed.
Format:
Short story - Horror/Scary
Overall feelings:
This was a moving story and any reader/reviewer would get a sympathetic lump in their throat just reading it. Evoking feelings that are paternal in most readers is what you have achieved with this piece.
It is an frightening to think that these types of stories do occur and that I feel is what makes the reading continue. In humanity there is an inordinate sense of the marcabre makes the reader continue down the page.
The twist on the end was a chuckle, though this reader/reviewer had worked out the outcome on their own. But it was none the less a really nice read.
I am sorry I do not have anything that I can offer other than the above review. You have worked this well and I wish you the best with your continued writing.
Please note this review does not go through public review forum if I make any suggestions, this is for you the writer as I will more than likely be compiling small typos or suggestions for your piece. It would be a breach of copy write if I place this into the review forum with your work displayed in this way. It is also I consider rude! Denotes my word selection changes and typos that may have niggled at my eye.
Format:
Contest - Survey form
Overall feelings:
Hi SM, glad to see that this contest has re opened. Yes I am participating!
This is a great site wide opportunity for all members of writing.com to get involved in and there are many great links contained within for finding reviews, outside of the normal genre's that a few of us would use.
The major draw card being the Gps, but for me it is not so much that. It is joining in the birthday celebrations and knowing that I am contributing, even if it may be in some small way.
Best of luck to all that enter and may writing.com continue to grow with each passing year.
Please note this review does not go through public review forum if I make any suggestions, this is for you the writer as I will more than likely be compiling small typos or suggestions for your piece. It would be a breach of copy write if I place this into the review forum with your work displayed in this way. It is also I consider rude! Denotes my word selection changes and typos that may have niggled at my eye.
Format:
Contest entry - Poetry
Overall feelings:
The image is a great lead up to the Haiku. I love your choice in words, they convey the strength and time the pyramids have been around. They always seem have that air of mystery about them and this comes across with added image.
I hope you do well with the contest and wish you luck.
Hello NS needs a new muse, I am here on behalf of "Invalid Item" for which you left a review request.
I am <=] ** ~~>, I do apologize for any delays that may have occurred while you have been waiting for the review/s to come through.
Suggestions:Please note that if I do make any suggestions this automatically makes the review a private one. This is due to my not wanting to violate your copy write and I feel it would be very rude of me to show it in the public review area.Blue denotes suggested word or my questions on a area. Red denotes niggles to my eye.
Niggle: I plunge into the abyss
No motivations inspires me
To help me become free Space line here
The chains of self-doubt
Never letting me get out
Suggestion: Usually , from what I have witnessed within WdC people add a link to the contest so souls that are reading may check it out for themselves.
Overall Impression:
Poetry, is such a personal item and I find difficult to rate. But this feels as if you have had a low spot in your life. I hope that things turn around and in time all gets better.
These lines The chains of self-doubt
Never letting me get out
I really liked, they depict to me that you know what is happening.
No matter how old you get, if you can keep the desire to be creative, you're keeping the child in you alive. So Keep writing and smiling
Please note this review does not go through public review forum if I make any suggestions, this is for you the writer as I will more than likely be compiling small typos or suggestions for your piece. It would be a breach of copy write if I place this into the review forum with your work displayed in this way. It is also I consider rude! Denotes my word selection changes and typos that may have niggled at my eye.
Format:
Column - Writing.com
Overall feelings:
This is as far as I've observed a greatly utilized aspect of URL's within WdC, it helps each writer with self promotion and having their work noticed not only within the walls of WdC. But if taken to the next level as you have pointed out it also allows for the public. Whether they be friends, family or even prospective members to see examples of the writers work.
You never know there may be a publisher out there that is taking note and may just drop by your port to have a little look around. It has happened and will continue to happen. So use the "Free" URL that you are provided to your best advantage.
Please note this review does not go through public review forum if I make any suggestions, this is for you the writer as I will more than likely be compiling small typos or suggestions for your piece. It would be a breach of copy write if I place this into the review forum with your work displayed in this way. It is also I consider rude! Denotes my word selection changes and typos that may have niggled at my eye.
Format:
Article
Overall feelings:
Pages like this are of great value, not only to myself but the wider community. Not a lot of souls realize the amount of spam, virus's and the like that they maybe downloading onto their computers. Even at times without their knowledge, their is a vast amount of tracking and embedded items that just automatically load onto a computer that it is scary.
I use a lot of the programs that you have made reference to and others. It pays as we all know to have back-ups and it is vital to have a firewall.
This is a valued and informative page for the users that are less familiar with computers.
Please note this review does not go through public review forum if I make any suggestions, this is for you the writer as I will more than likely be compiling small typos or suggestions for your piece. It would be a breach of copy write if I place this into the review forum with your work displayed in this way. It is also I consider rude! Denotes my word selection changes and typos that may have niggled at my eye.
Format:
Poetry
Overall feelings:
How very true! People do place possessions high on their want lists. Menial, objects that are easily replaced. But what about creating memories, sharing moments, and other really important things. A quiet word, a shared look, a lot of souls forget there is those that out weight the the other stuff.
This is a nicely written poem and I always have difficulty rating poetry, as I feel the writer always places a little of themselves within and it becomes a personal treasure.
Please note this review does not go through public review forum if I make any suggestions, this is for you the writer as I will more than likely be compiling small typos or suggestions for your piece. It would be a breach of copy write if I place this into the review forum with your work displayed in this way. It is also I consider rude! Denotes my word selection changes and typos that may have niggled at my eye.
Format:
Folder
Overall feelings:
Wow!! Love the image, it grabs the eye straight away. This folder is correctly rated and rightly named. The contents all are of poetry genre. As yet to read the items within, but am taken with the image. Amazing! Did you draw that yourself?
Please note this review does not go through public review forum if I make any suggestions, this is for you the writer as I will more than likely be compiling small typos or suggestions for your piece. It would be a breach of copy write if I place this into the review forum with your work displayed in this way. It is also I consider rude! Denotes my word selection changes and typos that may have niggled at my eye.
Format:
Poetry - Personal - Emotional
Overall feelings:
Personal poetry is for me always the hardest to rate. This is a fitting tribute to a loved one and I am pleased to have been invited to read it.
Butterflies have such a sense of freedom and you represented this well within this piece.
Please note this review does not go through public review forum if I make any suggestions, this is for you the writer as I will more than likely be compiling small typos or suggestions for your piece. It would be a breach of copy write if I place this into the review forum with your work displayed in this way. It is also I consider rude! Denotes my word selection changes and typos that may have niggled at my eye.
Format:
Poetry - Fantasy
Overall feelings:
This has a magic feel within it, the poetic imagery makes it feel real. Everyone has poetic license and I think this reads well personally. This changes the feel, making appear even more mythical and magical in my point of view.
Sensing no danger-
They boldly entered.
Into what now appeared-
To be an upward sphere.
You write some lovely poetry and it all conveys your style and feel.
Please note this review does not go through public review forum if I make any suggestions, this is for you the writer as I will more than likely be compiling small typos or suggestions for your piece. It would be a breach of copy write if I place this into the review forum with your work displayed in this way. It is also I consider rude! Denotes my word selection changes and typos that may have niggled at my eye.
Format:
Clarity pyramid
Overall feelings:
Now this I did like. It is so sad that the true meaning of Easter, Christmas and most of the other religious holidays has been lost. Behind gimmicks and who gets the bigger, best of presents. It's not the gift that counts, but the thought behind it.
Another great image by a great designer. I like how you have added the direct links to the other items of your port to the front page here. Well done.
Few things, including clothes,
are more personal than cherished ornaments.
The pioneer women, who crossed a wild continent
clutching their treasures to them, knew that a clock,
a picture, a pair of candlesticks, meant home,
even in the wilderness.
You my friend have a blue dragon at your door
welcoming the visitors.
Poingnant and wise, this reveals more than it says. It has a lesson buried within, don't be in a hurry to grow up enjoy being younger while you can.
Nicely written and executed.
Within this folder the content is appropriate and the c-notes, plus signature auction are reasonably priced. The rating is set correctly and I wish this soul the best o luck within WDC.
Keep up the great work and keep smiling, it's amazing how easily it spreads.
This is a lovely read, and it is easy enough for a young child to comprehend. Your words are not to huge and past the vocabulary level of a child that would be suited to this genre of story.
You depict the princess in a way that a child or even an adult can easily comprehend her meanness. I like the twist from the normal white unicorn to the black one, yet still maintaining that the unicorn is good of heart.
I have to say I really did enjoy the chuckle these pieces provoked. You have a really good sense of humor and I feel that maybe you delve into it a little more.
As I stated in one of the reviews, I feel this or these could be a series of educational pieces for children to be encouraged to do daily, weekly, monthly personal hygiene and health options.
It could be a subtle tool in the form of poetry, if you make it into different forms, you would be teaching a extra lesson along the way. But I can't think of bodily function that could be written as a Eulogy, can you? Though you, may just surprise us all.
Suggestions:
N/A
Additional Comments:
This is a great folder and the ratings are set correctly. Keep writing and plying the lessons to all of us.
Working my way through the vast amount of thank-you forums and yours I feel even though it was originally created by Papillon. has to be up there with one of the best and more widely know groups with WDC.
There are many souls that have benefited from the kindness of angel in their many shapes and forms. I it is great to know that these types of forums and their subsequent groups for say thnak-you are around.
Keep up the RAOK and keep giving writers the support they so rightly deserve.
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It would help greatly if the work was broken into smaller paragraphs. Larger run on pieces as this, tend to be a bit off putting to prospective reviewers.
Niggle:
Though you, may just surprise us all.