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55 Public Reviews Given
55 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of The Chair  
Review by inkerod
Rated: E | (4.5)
You wrote the story of my life. I enjoyed it immensely. I'm glad you didn't depict it as a total waste. I think the majority of writers spend a lot of time in that chair letting their minds roam. You do have some issues with usage here. Some of the sentences are sloppy. For example, in the second sentence you wrote - "others 'just' sort of sit around. It's very hard for amateur writings to get the word "just" out of their writing, and this sentence would have been so much better without that word in it. But don't beat yourself up over that. The word "just" sometimes creeps into my writing too. What you wrote is very good. Just watch out for the word "just".
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Review of How to be special  
Review by inkerod
Rated: E | (4.5)
This gives me food for thought. Everyone is special in their own way, but "being special" can also be a put down too. It scares me a little when someone tells me they think I am special. This is a nice bit of writing. Keep it up.
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Review by inkerod
Rated: E | (4.0)
This held my interest, but it could be better. It is a poem that doesn't use rhyme, so the language needs to be more vivid. You could have been more descriptive, with a joyous family gathering driving the narrative. This poem is lacking joy. I wanted to see people hugging and looking at each other with smiling faces. In one place you wrote, "In what was a sleepy town" when it would have been better to dispense with the second and third two words, and write "In a sleepy town". The last sentence is problematic, too. You need to replace it with something like, "Which provided a delicious meal". Something like that. Also, I have never been in a pizza joint that didn't have the smell of oregano. Mentioning that would draw your readers into the story.
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Review of Could Be Serious  
Review by inkerod
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This poem does a good job of describing most poets' lives. You hit the nail on the head. There might be poets from other walks of lives, but it seems like they all have this frame of mind at least to some extent. I particularly liked the last stanza. That expressed it perfectly - "Whatever it is / it cannot be denied ,,, ". Keep writing. I'd like to hear more from you.
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Review by inkerod
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a nice bit of poetic writing. But the two words almost at the end of the fourth line "all over" could be replaced with the word "covering". I liked the first two lines. They are good poetry. I also like the last two lines: "a wound caused / By falling in love". I liked this poem in general. Good work.
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Review by inkerod
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a well crafted story. It got my interest from the beginning. I would have liked something a little more dramatic, though. This story is resolved too easily, but that could be just me. It builds tension, but then the conflict deflates like a balloon. I would have liked it to be a little edgier.
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Review by inkerod
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
This has the feel of a lived experience. Dealing with a bureaucracy can be perplexing at best, infuriating at worst. Cecilia seems to have her plate full of legal troubles in this foreign bureaucracy. What you have here is good, but I think you could expand it and make it more personal. I would like to see Cecilia's reaction to these legal citations. It is kind of impersonal and lacking emotion as it is. Maybe that is the whole point of the story, but I still would like to see how all this is affecting Cecilia's emotions.
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Review of Lost and Found  
Review by inkerod
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is good. The way you build tension in the story got me. I was starting to feel lost myself. I have been lost in the woods a few times. It's kind of an irksome feeling. One possible angle if you want to expand this story is to have her shown to know that money is in the backpack, and it's bulky to carry, so that she was increasing her chances of never being found by hanging on to the money. I don't know. That's just a thought. This is very good as it is.
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Review of Shielded heart  
Review by inkerod
Rated: E | (4.5)
I like the image of the fern in this poem. It sets the mood and invokes a feeling of engagement with the grace and the beauty of the plant. The rhymes are good, though I think you should have labored a little harder over a couple of them. That's just my opinion though. This is really well done.
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Review of Life is Endless  
Review by inkerod
Rated: E | (5.0)
I can relate to this. I am 64 years old, and I am starting to wonder how much time I have left and what I am going to do with that time. I'm hoping I can live long enough to produce some really high quality writing, mostly fiction. My whole life has been characterized by a lack of self discipline, and I am hoping to remedy that. I really don't know how much time I have. My dad and all the men of his generation in town died around the age of 70. I'm hoping for more time, but you never know. I might kick off tomorrow.
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Review by inkerod
Rated: E | (4.0)
This got my attention. That whole business of the wormholes is intriguing. Using wormholes is the only way I see to travel the vast distances of space, but we never know. There are probably brilliant scientists around who are thinking up ways to navigate the universe. Some of the new technologies they're working on are incredible.
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Review by inkerod
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This is well imagined, exciting writing. I really enjoyed the scene in the temple. It held my interest. But you could be more economical with your language. For instance, in the beginning you wrote - "the watery beer she'd been contemplating drinking." This is not good writing. It is enough to say she had a watery beer in front of her. The fact that it is there is a good indication that she's thinking about drinking it. You might write - "She regarded her beer", or something like that. You make similar mistakes throughout this story. This story has some real strengths, but like they say, "the key to good writing is revision."
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Review of On The Way School  
Review by inkerod
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is good, but it might need just a little bit more description. I think most of your audience does not know what those vehicles are like to ride on because many people in the U.S. don't use buses. You might add a couple of sentences about the bus rocking as it pulls away from the curb, and add some description about the color of the bus, and/or the shape the tires of the bus are in. This story does hang together well, but it could use a little polishing here and there.
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Review by inkerod
Rated: E | (4.5)
This gives an interesting perspective on the fable of the "Three Little Pigs". The wolf looks almost human in this story, but underneath it all he might still have a ravenous appetite for pork. Part of me was waiting for the wolf to bare his teeth, but that probably says more about me than it does about the wolf in the story. It is really good the way you told this story from the perspective of the big, bad wolf.
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Review by inkerod
Rated: E | (5.0)
I like this. It gave me insight into how special education programs work. There is a quote by Albert Einstein that went something like this: "Everyone is a genius, but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree it will believe its entire life that it is stupid." Who knows, you might put some of those classroom bullies to shame when you get older.
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Review by inkerod
Rated: E | (4.5)
I enjoyed reading your poem. The whole time I read this I was seeing a giant hippo stuffing itself with food and drinking tea in somebody's kitchen. I suppose that if you wanted to reach for a higher meaning for this poem you could say it is emblematic of some of human relationships. Good job. I liked it. Is it about me?
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Review by inkerod
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Some of these 300 word stories, as good as they are, could be developed into something a lot more ambitious. They could become high quality stories that are enjoyable for all people to read.
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Review of One More House  
Review by inkerod
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is a good Halloween story. I think you could get an even better story if you expanded what is here, if you fleshed it out with vivid description. You might think about it.
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Review by inkerod
Rated: 13+ | (1.5)
I just bought a year long Up Graded membership that was supposed to last until Aug 31, 2024, but on the confirmation notification it said that the membership only lasted until July 15, 2024. Someone is trying to cheat me out of $15.
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Review by inkerod
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

This has a somber tone to it that drew me in. It is spare in its presentation, and that is part of what gives this poem its grim quality. We are asked by the author to join with them in their focused gaze. It is original and compelling.
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Review of Looking Beyond  
Review by inkerod
Rated: E | (4.5)
This poem starts out with some strong rhymes that got my attention, but I like better its take on a certain kind of emotion likely to be experienced by some wistful young adult or high school intellectual. That was the way many of us were back then, and though I don't know many young adults now, I bet today's young intellectuals savor this poem like too. Your rhyme scheme loosens up in the middle of this poem. That's the only fault I see.
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Review by inkerod
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is a well crafted story. I felt the emotions being expressed. Good job.
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Review of Writing.Com 101  
Review by inkerod
Rated: E | (4.5)
Back when I was first coming on to this site I was off my med's and drinking, and I wrote a bunch of very harsh reviews. It made some people mad, and I don't blame them. That was a long time ago. I have since reformed.
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Review of Introvert  
Review by inkerod
Rated: E | (4.0)
The imagery could be a little stronger in this story. Like in the final sentence you wrote, "The food came back up." You might write "The food gushed out" and if you had the space, embellished that, but I know that is hard to do when you're working within such word limitations. It's hard to know what is fat and needs to be cut off and what is tasty meat.
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Review by inkerod
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a very sincere poem about a difficult relationship. The last two sentences are particularly good. It sounds like this poem was written in a fever, where you are pulling thoughts out of your head. You could put the ideas and images in this poem together a little better. There could be better flow.
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