Your piece speaks the truth of the ultimate lesson contained within the human experience. We are all one. The challenge is for us to focus on that which unites us rather than that which separates us, all the while valuing the multi-faceted differences of the One whom we reflect. I love your testament to faith. It can move mountains!
If there were separate ratings for content and writing, I would have given you five stars for the content. Your piece has the ability to inspire. It inspired me. It expressed some basic spiritual truths and spoke of your own faith. The more that people begin to write about their spirituality, the more human consciousness will be raised. Thank you for sharing your lovely piece.
You are an old soul who possesses great spiritual wisdom. You have expressed what resonates as truth to me. I pray that you will continue to write in a similar vein in order to wake up the sleepers who do not appreciate the present moment or the fact that we are all one. Not only have you expressed the truth, but you have done it exceedingly well.
You speak words of truth and you convey your meaning well. You have wonderful insight in that you realize you have been culpable too. The taint of this world affects us all. Yet so many sleepwalk through life, oblivious of how irresponsible they might be in their thoughts or actions. Instead they point the finger at others whose crimes seem worse than their own. That is only a judgment that will come back upon them in some fashion. I hope that you keep writing along these veins. It will only serve to inspire others to wake up to their own responsibilities.
I loved the way you ended your piece. That was inspired. This piece has potential, but I think it could use some fine tuning. I'd have to really study it in order to make some constructive suggestions. At any rate, you are a fine poet.
I only hope that the sentiments contained within do not represent where you are at in your life at present. If that is the case, that's okay. Life is full of lessons and you have another chance to learn the lesson and move on. The only lesson that matters is that life is about joy. It is up to you how to discover that one moment at a time. Just keep reaching for the next best thought, action, or feeling that leads you in that direction.
By the way, I think I caught a mistake in the following line: "I’m sorry I am something more." Did you mean for that to say " I'm sorry I am NOT something more?"
Keep writing and developing your fine talent. You have the potential to write a five star piece. Welcome to the site. I'm a relative newcomer myself.
You get five stars for the feelings you evoked within me. You have my sympathy. I lost three precious dogs. Two had to be euthanized. One died a quick death. That was the easiest one to handle.
Trust me, you will heal and Rusty will always live on in your heart in a joyful though sometimes bittersweet way. His passing is so recent. It will take time. It is as if you lost your own child. I know what it's like. It's heart-wrenching. I cried buckets of tears over the death of my beagle Chauncey.
Yet the time will come when you will remember those happy memories and you will consider getting another dog. He or she will never replace Rusty. It may be a different breed. It will probably have a different personality. Then again, you never know. Rusty may come back to you in the form of a new dog. Animals can and do reincarnate. My first childhood dog (a shepherd/beagle mix) came back to me in the form of a yellow lab. Miracles happen every day.
You have potential as a writer. This piece could be improved upon if you tried writing it as a poem. I encourage you to try that. Give it a little time. Perhaps you could journal about your grief in the meantime. Then come back to it later. I know that you can do a better job. It was a good attempt.
You have my heartfelt sympathy upon your loss. May God bless you and Rusty too. In the meantime, if you need a good laugh, check out the short sample chapter from my just published book. It is in my portfolio.
You write about inspiring. You have inspired me with your words of wisdom, doubtlessly shaped by your own pain of the human experience. Having figuratively been crucified, you have been transformed into a new life of the resurrection of your soul. You say to pass it on and I say, "I will." After all, it is no good unless one does so. We are all here to inspire others.
We all have the potential to change. After all, life hands us a continuing variety of experiences from which we can learn and grow. Obviously you have done this within your own life. Your words are a testament to this. You are a gifted writer and you have potential.
As for anyone in this life, I believe we all do the best we can with what we've been handed. For some, they have been beaten down too much and just can't seem to get out of the pit. They are not to be pitied, though it is very sad.
You have inspired me with your spirit. You recognize potential within others and you ask probing questions within your poem. Perhaps your words will awaken others into a state of consciousness. Miracles happen every day. You are a miracle worker yourself.
What a story! I love your sense of humor! When you first talked about Kathy scratching that hole in her head, I imagined someone digging in the middle of their forehead to open their third eye. Supposedly that is where illumination comes from. Yet, for Kathy, she saw the light after she had been healed. There's a lot of symbolism in your work beside the satire. You have a gift! Keep writing!
Please check out the sample chapter from my just-published first novel. I would love your feedback. It's a short chapter. You can also visit my web page at www.outskirtspress.com/misadventuresofsistermaryolgafortitude. My book is religious and social satire.
I love your courage to explore the dark side of the soul, something to many people are not willing to do or to even admit that they have a dark side. You write very well! I was able to relate. You paint vivid word pictures. Now I challenge you to write about the flip side of the soul. I'd love to hear your take upon "the light."
I haven't read the story yet so I may be a bit premature in writing a review. Nevertheless I love your cover. The magnified eye stands out like a 'third eye." The parting of the sea is suggestive of the miracle that Moses performed at the Red Sea. I trust this was intended. If that's not the case, it's all the more marvelous.
Since you liked my sample chapter, check out my own cover. Visit my web page at: www.outskirtspress.com/misadventuresofsistermaryolgafortitude.
You have captured the true meaning of Christmas as well as the material traps which can preclude one from realizing the truth of The Gift. I loved how you moved from your own human error of forgetting the truth for awhile before you remembered the meaning of the day.
Whether it is Christmas or any other day, we are the ones who are always offered the gift. If we keep Christmas in our hearts, every day will be Christmas. Then perhaps we will learn to focus even more as we live within the moment ,cherishing each and every one until we pass into pure spirit once more.
You get five stars from me for the truths of which you speak. Happiness does not come from the outside nor can it come from any event. You've found the answer when you discovered the importance of counting your blessings in the now. There is a spiritual law of attraction for every thought, feeling, or action. It all begins with the thought. The beautiful thing I have witnessed for you is that you are developing more faith. From that, all things are possible.
Keep on writing. The more you do it, the better you will get. Just tell your story simply and let your heart speak. Then you will be coming at it from a point of inspiration. That will inspire others. It will also improve the quality of your work.
Life's moment indeed passes, but the eternal moment is forever. I love the image you paint of the journey home. It made me feel safe and secure in the loving kindness of our Creator of which I believe we are all a part thereof. Thank you for the inspiration. You are truly gifted! I shall look forward to reading more.
Once again, I must say that you have the gift! I was intrigued by your title and I was NOT disappointed. You spoke words of truth. So much of the human experience is illusory. Very few people are willing to get real. The sad part is that many are not aware of the masks that they wear. The end result is that they do not know who they truly are. That certainly does not seem to be the case with you. After all, masks can be used constructively in order to protect oneself. But isn't it so much better that, when you find a kindred spirit, you can let the mask down as if it was simply a veil to be blown away by a gentle breeze.
You really had me going! I thought that you were writing about breast reduction surgery. You have a incisive gift for satire. I'm working on it myself. I've just had my first in a series of nine novels published which is about a wayward nun named Sister Mary Olga Fortitude.
I'd love it if you checked out my sample chapter; or you can visit my web page for a synopsis and a peak at my delightfully illustrated cover. My mother-in-law posed for the title character. You can hear that story if you listen to the audio excerpt while there: www.outskirtspress.com/misadventuresofsistermaryolgafortitude.
I loved your poem and your expression of faith in dreams, perhaps even the belief in angels. For all you know, you may indeed be one living in the flesh. What I liked about your poem was some of the imagery you evoked within me. I would have liked you to explore that some more. Never let the weight of the world crush your spirit and continue to explore your gift as you practice your craft.
Davis
PS - If you are interested in a spiritual book that is outrageously funny, check out my webpage: www.outskirtspress.com/misadventuresofsistermaryolgafortitude. You can also listen to an audio excerpt that includes background. The partial sample chapter on the web page is from the same chapter I have included within my portfolio.
Never give up hope! For one thing you have inspired me through your gift of writing. You have also helped me to count my blessings that I have passed through the darkness of the night of my soul and come out into the light. I can relate to the experience you have described. I'm wondering if the voices you refer to are those of your parents, a partner, or those from within your head.
The only voice that truly matters is the voice that affirms you are worthy; that affirms you are here for a reason. Perhaps, for now, that reason is simply to transcend your own pain. Once you have done that, you will see that it was actually a blessing in disguise. From your experience in how it has shaped you and your writing, you will become more skilled at your craft as well as in handling your own life.
Just remember that there are positive people in this world. You need to seek them out in order to be reminded that you are beloved, that you are a gift. You are gifted. Don't give up! Keep writing and you will find the way to a new life.
I loved it! You use such beautiful imagery. You are a wordsmith as well as a poet. It almost sounds like a poem about reincarnation. I didn't want it to stop. Perhaps that's why I didn't give you five stars. In a sense, I felt deprived. Of course, that's not necessarily a bad thing. It's better to leave the reader wanting more than to have them wishing it would end. What I would like you to consider would be to write a poem about the rebirth of the soul from the standpoint of illumination; that is, unless you prefer to stick to the basic elements that you so eloquently portrayed.
You are a true poet. I trust that what made this poem so superb was that you wrote it from your heart. I also would imagine that you wrote it very quickly. That would be a sign that it was an inspiration. Speaking of angels, you must be one too. Someone who has a heart and can lend words of consolation is a gift from heaven. You are that gift and you have inspired me too!
You express yourself well and you get your point across clearly. I believe that you have potential if you are willing to work at it. I trust that you are or you wouldn't be here.
The same applies to your life. One needs to work at achieving happiness. Happiness is not a given. It is something that comes from within. Lives filled with pain and sadness can block us from this simple truth.
A good place to start is to focus on taking care of yourself. Stick with people, places, and things that make you feel better provided that you don't fall into the trap of using artificial means to do so. Life is rich and varied. It is waiting for you to explore it. Too many people turn to drugs, sex, food, and mindless activities that will never feel that empty hole of need.
When you do something for someone, it is an act of service. It is important not to expect anything in return. When you can let go of that notion, you may be surprised that someone from whom you would least expect it might perform an act of kindness toward you. There are spiritual principles at work in the universe. It simply takes acts of faith in letting go.
Life is lived from the inside out, not the other way around. Too many people in this world are always seeking quick fixes from the outside. It is an inside job and you are the only person who can do it.
I hope I've given you some food for thought. Try keeping a journal to see what discoveries you may make. I've found it to be very helpful to focus on things that I'm grateful for. There are so many simple things in even the humblest of lives that people can take for granted. As you keep writing, you may start to arrive at some truths for yourself. It will also help you when it comes to writing pieces that you might post here. It takes discipline, but you are worth it!
You described your feelings well. The length of the piece suited your subject without dwelling upon the feelings or events. I think that you have a lot of potential. Just remember that practice makes perfect. Yet do not set yourself up. All that we can do is to aim for perfection.
What I would ask you to take a look at personally is that not a one of us is perfect in this life. We all make mistakes. They are simply opportunities from which we can learn lessons.
It does no good to beat ourselves up or to make any promises for tomorrow. There are two old sayings that apply here. "Tomorrow never comes" and "promises are made to be broken."
What I've learned from my own past struggle with perfectionism is that it only sets me up for judgment. I cannot nor should I expect perfection from myself or from anyone else. After all, we are only human.
The biggest trap within my own life has been to try to mold myself into the person that I thought my significant other wanted me to be. When I have done that, I have given myself away. I also have gotten so far from the truth of my own being that I haven't been able to clearly see who I was anymore.
Granted I've made my share of mistakes even in the arena of what you may call immorality. Again I say that it was simply a matter of myself being human. By my very nature, I am codependent as we all are to greater or lesser extents. What I believe that we need to do is to simply be honest without hurting ourselves or another. God is always with us and guides us when we can detach from a place of hurt. That is when we can hear Him calling to us.
Let His gentle call come to you. He loves you unconditionally. Now all that you need to do is to extend the same love to yourself. Once that is done, everything in your life will be real and fulfilling.
I believe that you have discovered the key to life which, as you said, is love. Unfortunately many people never seem to learn the true meaning of that. Thankfully God gives us one chance after another to get it right. It's just that, until we do, the life lessons may become more painful.
You have a gift for writing. Keep it up! I want to give you five stars the next time. As long as you speak from your heart, you will light up the hearts of others. To stay in one's head for very long can lead to confusion for the self or the readers. I'm not saying that you have done this in your spiritual essay. It's just some food for thought. Just consider it without dwelling upon it.
You are a child of God and you have nothing to fear. Self-esteem is the key to raising oneself up. Pride can only lead to a downfall. I'm not sure if you interposed the meaning of pride with self-esteem within your piece. If not, please consider what I have offered to you.
The only thing to fear is fear itself. That is why I do not believe in the devil. Whatever one fears tends to manifest in one's beliefs and one's life. The "devil" can only do his bidding if we give our power away. He has no power when we align ourselves with our true nature. So I do believe, though I have lived long enough to realize that I may not always be correct. I am a student of life and of the spirit. You have taught me a lesson today.
The greatest lesson you taught me was faith. To know that there is another soul such as yourself has strengthened my own faith in humankind. What you have offered to me is the hope that more and more people of faith will speak out to wake up those "sleepers" who are living dreams that are nightmares. We create heaven or hell within ourselves. Why would any of us choose the latter?
I like your practical approach to staying in today. Even more importantly, I believe, is to stay within the moment. That is all any of us truly ever has. That is our eternity; and eternity is our spiritual birthright.
Keep writing. Practice makes perfect and you have the potential. Remain open-minded as I believe you are. The reason that I know this to be true is that you have trusted others enough to be open to feedback. Know that you are beloved always. Keep counting your blessings. That will only help to multiply the blessings of others.
Davis Aujourd'hui
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/daujourdhui
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.22 seconds at 3:38pm on Apr 23, 2024 via server web2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
