You have a really good piece, well written, and something that encourages the reader to keep reading to the end.
On the hints of the story, it sounds to me like you have two characters who are not just polar opposites but might kill each other at the end but not before stopping something else first. That is my interpretation of your verse.
I don't know what style of rhyming you were going for though.
In its totality I give this 4.5 rating, you don't have any spelling or grammar errors, other then the rhyming part, which really does not bother me. I don't see any other major issues or flaws that would be a problem.
I hope this helps you in some way, and that you will continue your writing.
You don't have any spelling or grammar errors, nor do I see any other major issues or flaws that would be a problem. The only thing that I would suggest, in my opinion, is that you brake up the text so that it reads a little better.
With that small point in consideration, I'm giving this a four and a half rating.
I hope this helps you in some way, and that you will continue writing.
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| (4.5)
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