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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/deafminister
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62 Public Reviews Given
62 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
In-depth and personal. I research each subject before giving a review. My review is based content, technical merit, and personal impressions.
I'm good at...
Grammar, spelling, research of any topic or subject. I will always be honest, positive and up-building in my evaluations.
Favorite Genres
Lyical poetry, Haiku, Limericks, ballads
Least Favorite Genres
Horror short stories or violent or sexually explicite short stories.
Favorite Item Types
inspirational, spiritual, humorous, autobiographical
Least Favorite Item Types
dark
I will not review...
any work that is sexually explicit, vulgar, disrespectful,
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by marylou4
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Good morning Sister of Mercy, my name is marylou4 and I have the pleasure of reviewing your Lesson 2 Writing Assignment. This review is part of your package from "Invalid Item"  I hope in some small way, to offer my support, help and encouragement to other writers like myself. My objective is to inspire each writer to expend and expand their literary endeavors to the fullest extent. This is only my humble voice speaking, so please keep this in mind as you read my review.

This subject holds a special interest for me; Education was my major and English was my minor, as I studied to become a teacher. My decision to review your work is both personal and a pleasure. You wrote an interesting story in the fantasy genre. What were your reasons for choosing this theme, if I may ask?

Even in this fairy tale, you created realistic characters. Children seem to race through childhood, without fully appreciating each step along the way. This is the sad reality in both worlds. Your characters spoke and behaved in a typical fashion. Ludia, Jackie, Kathy and Maddie were normal teenage girls. Morganna was a classic grandma.

Your words and phrases were creatively executed; your characters came to life. In my mind I saw each one clearly, as the story unfolded with a natural flow.
I found these grammatical errors in your story. My suggestions are right below them. I only offer them for your consideration.

1) what's
What’s

2) suck
stuck

I enjoyed reading your creative writing assignment. Thank you for sharing it with us.

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Review by marylou4
Rated: E | (5.0)
Good morning Chris, my name is marylou4 and I have the pleasure of reviewing your poem. This review is part of your package from "Invalid Item"  I hope in some small way, to offer my support, help and encouragement to other writers like myself. My objective is to inspire each writer to expend and expand their literary endeavors to the fullest extent. This is only my humble voice speaking, so please keep this in mind as you read my review.

I was intrigued by the title of your poem, “Teaching Wonderment.” I am a retired teacher, who never retired or tires from teaching. You depicted the true essence of learning and established the undeniable significance of gaining knowledge; knowledge is the key that can unlock any door.

It is irrelevant when you embraced this opportunity; what is important is that you began to cherish this gift. Your words express the wonder and joy you feel. Knowledge is self-fulfilling. Education is like the copious rains on living plants and trees. Just as these plants need the rain to grow, mature and bear fruit; humans need the knowledge that comes from education to grow, mature and bear fruit.

Your commitment to touch the lives, hearts and minds of others, the same way educators touched your life, your heart and mind is an inherent quality of education. You teach because you were taught, you give because you received and you hope the overwhelming joy you experienced, others will soon experience for themselves.

You are blessed with the artistry to create and express yourself with words, in poetry and prose. Don’t ever stop using your gift and sharing it with others.
I found 1 miniscule error; this misspelled word self-fulfilment,

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Review by marylou4
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Good morning Octavian, my name is marylou4 and I have the pleasure of reviewing your short story. I hope in some small way, to offer my support, help and encouragement to other writers like myself. My objective is to inspire each writer to expend and expand their literary endeavors to the fullest extent. This is only my humble voice speaking, so please keep this in mind as you read my review.

Your story began in a mysterious way, which grabbed my attention. I was immediately swept into the protagonist’s dilemma. I too was searching the vast emptiness in space to find something, anything familiar or recognizable.

My heart beat faster with every challenge faced by your protagonist. I followed his actions closely; my thoughts and feelings were in support of him. I wondered if he would get home safely.

Using the 1st person narrative for this short story was a reasonable choice. I thought your story moved in a rushed and hurried manner. I had trouble catching my breath.
I was thoroughly entertained. I would have appreciated it more, if I could have savored each changing situation.

I found only a few grammatical errors.

1) If you could add a subject to this sentence fragment Alone. Maybe, I tremble in isolation.

2) Elation. Maybe you could describe the feeling instead of writing the words. Just as air permeates the atmosphere, ecstasy infused my entire being. This is just a suggestion.

3) A bubble so precious and delicate that it might just pop. If you added another phrase, it would no longer be a sentence fragment. For example: At this range I just see a blue sphere, the image of A bubble so precious and delicate that it might just pop.

I thank you so much for sharing your short story with us.

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4
Review by marylou4
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Good morning jazjaz, my name is marylou4 and I have the pleasure of reviewing Chapter 4 of Break Providence. I hope in some small way, to offer my support, help and encouragement to other writers like myself. My objective is to inspire each writer to expend and expand their literary endeavors to the fullest extent. This is only my humble voice speaking, so please keep this in mind as you read my review.

I don’t often get the opportunity to review chapters, so I was excited when I saw your work. After reading it, I was glad I chose it. My attention was captured from beginning to end.

Your characters were realistic and reminded me of different people I know. Their personalities gradually emerge as the story unfolds. The dialogue of each character is consistent with their personality.

The reader gets a clear objective viewpoint of all the action and the motivation of the characters, because you use an omniscient narrator. You created your characters with depth; I appreciated the progression of Yuki’s confidence and abilities. I could easily identify with Cher’s caring and protective attitude toward Yuki. Alex has a mysterious quality that suggests there is more to him than we know.

Your story moved at a good pace, which enhanced my interest. I am excited about your story and look forward to reading more.

There were some grammatical errors.

1) "Ooookay is not properly spelled. Try using oh—k.

2) "Really? This is a sentence fragment, try using a question mark.

3) Another of your dumb experiments?" Maybe you could rewrite the sentence this way to correct the fragment. This is another one of your dumb experiments.

Your writing style is indicative of stage direction. Do you write plays?
I want to thank you for sharing this most interesting chapter with us.
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Review by marylou4
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Good morning webroot, my name is marylou4 and I have the pleasure of reviewing your poem. I hope in some small way, to offer my support, help and encouragement to other writers like myself. My objective is to inspire each writer to expend and expand their literary endeavors to the fullest extent. This is only my humble voice speaking, so please keep this in mind as you read my review.

I was intrigued by the title of your article, “Captains Contentious.” As I read your poem, I was captivated by your clever use of certain words and phrases:

1) doomsday maw

2) moseyed to intervene

3) capture photons in a stein

4) where no one else had gone before.

I was amused by your chosen theme and delighted in reading it several times. You brought me back in time, when Star Trek was in its heyday and Star Wars was at its prime.

Your lyrical form was a wise choice and the end rhyming pattern of AABB made its reading easy and enjoyable. The euphony of your poem was consistent from beginning to end.

I appreciated the tasteful interjections of classic poetry by Walt Whitman, within your poem; specifically Leaves of Grass and Oh Captain, My Captain.

The descriptive language you employed stimulates the reader’s imagination. I could visualize every action and nuance as it was unfolding.

I only found minor grammatical errors in the placement of the semi colons; there is a gap between the word and the semi colon.

I thank you for sharing this imaginative and charming poem with us.
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Review by marylou4
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Good morning marnts, my name is marylou4 and I have the pleasure of reviewing your article. I hope in some small way, to offer my support, help and encouragement to other writers like myself. My objective is to inspire each writer to expend and expand their literary endeavors to the fullest extent. This is only my humble voice speaking, so please keep this in mind as you read my review.

I was intrigued by the title of your article, “Awaken the Bull Moose.” After reading your article and meditating on its contents, I reached these conclusions.

1) You conscientiously researched your topic, presenting this data with expertise, clarity and conviction.

2) This article displays your statesmanship with insight in the political arena.

3) You incorporated both the art of government and the science of government into your literary composition.

4) You interweave your perceptions along with precise details of the issues and key points promulgated by each party, as they existed in the past and as they exist today.

5) I was fascinated with your inserts of political history.

I found only minor grammatical errors.

The Bull Moose? If you make this change, your sentence will be correct. The Bull Moose, What?

mid-1930’s, If you close the gap on your hyphenated word, it will be correct.
Simple. If you use an exclamation point, this will no longer be a fragment.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading and reviewing your article. Thank you for sharing.
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7
Review of Trust  
Review by marylou4
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)

Good morning Dave, my name is marylou4 and I have the pleasure of reviewing your poem. I hope in some small way, to offer my support, help and encouragement to other writers like myself. My objective is to inspire each writer to expend and expand their literary endeavors to the fullest extent. This is only my humble voice speaking, so please keep this in mind as you read my review.

I have enjoyed the many blessings of reviewing various works of art, and this is no exception. I find this particular art form challenging, but exciting.

I thought your theme about truth and honest friendship was refreshing. Your words are expressive and beautifully convey the feelings of your heart. Your line variation and constantly changing syllable count enhanced the natural flow and rhythm of your poem.

The reality and truth of your poem struck a sympathetic and meaningful chord within me. It makes me cherish true friendships and value the truth to an even greater extent.
I found no grammatical errors in your work. I found your poem easy to read and a joy to review. Thank you for sharing it with us. I am inspired to try to write a poem using this new form.

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Review by marylou4
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Good evening Sherri, my name is marylou4 and I have the pleasure of reviewing your poem. I hope in some small way, to offer my support, help and encouragement to writers like myself. My objective is to inspire each writer to expend and expand their literary endeavors to the fullest extent. This is only my humble voice speaking, so please keep this in mind as you read my review.

The title of your poem caught my eye, but it was not at all what I was expecting. Your poem emitted a haunting sensation, not in a bad or horrifying way, but in an unforgettable way. Your words convey an undercurrent of thoughts, feelings and emotions still hidden. This beautifully, poignant poem gives the sensation of deep sadness or tragedy, that is buried somewhere in your heart.

The words and lines of your poem have an interesting pattern. In the first and second stanzas, the first and second lines have similar end sounds and the third and fourth lines have an end rhyme. In your third stanza, all four lines have an end rhyming pattern.
The repetition of the phrase, “born to be as wild as the wind;” impresses the thought of living without limitations. Your words indicate an introspective focus, which gives you insight, a positive attitude and a power inner strength.

I found no grammatical errors within your poem. This poem was precisely written; it was exquisite. Thank you for sharing it with us.
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Review by marylou4
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Good morning J.C.Stonewell2, my name is marylou4 and I have the pleasure of reviewing your poem. I hope in some small way, to offer my support, help and encouragement to other newbies like myself. My objective is to inspire each writer to expend and expand their literary endeavors to the fullest extent. This is only my humble voice speaking, so please keep this in mind as you read my review.

Your Lyric poem is melodic, by nature and descriptive in essence. The AABB end rhyming pattern that you used had a natural, enjoyable tempo. You created a poem with a strong euphony from start to finish.

I was impressed with your choice of words, which evokes vivid images in the mind of the reader. As an example: portcullis, a heavy metal gate that can be lowered in front of a castle; this is creative genius.

The repetition you employed in the 1st and 4th stanzas, effectively stimulates the imagination of the reader; summoning an ornate residence that was relinquished long ago.

I found no grammatical errors in your poem. Thank you for sharing this delightful poem with us.
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Review of Breathe  
Review by marylou4
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Good morning jordmartinez, my name is martlou4 and I have the pleasure of reviewing your poem. I hope in some small way, to offer my support, help and encouragement to other newbies like myself. My objective is to inspire each writer to expend and expand their literary endeavors to the fullest extent. This is only my humble voice speaking, so please keep this in mind as you read my review.

I am excited by your free verse poem that utilizes the dactylic tetrameter pattern to express your heartfelt joy. You seem to recognize the gift of life, with which we are blessed.

The variety in your lines harmonizes with the infinite diversity that exists. Your emphasis on breathing indicates to me, how deeply you cherish life, which you express so beautifully in this poem. Thank you for sharing it with us.

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Review of One Word  
Review by marylou4
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Good morning Kassimel, my name is martlou4 and I have the pleasure of reviewing your poem. I hope in some small way, to offer my support, help and encouragement to other newbies like myself. My objective is to inspire each writer to expend and expand their literary endeavors to the fullest extent. This is only my humble voice speaking, so please keep this in mind as you read my review.

Your one word poem has no lines, stanzas, rhyme or rhythm. It uses no poetic devices or figures of speech. So I must evaluate it on its content alone. Your poem effectively stimulates the imagination of the reader. The word “still” evokes a variety of possibilities.
The reader is free to select whatever interpretation to him/her. Your poem allows, even promotes each reader to derive their own, personal value, enjoyment and identity from one word “still.”

Does the reader find quietness of movement or sound? Or does the reader feel a sense of longing through this waiting period? Or could the reference mean always? When it is used with Jehovah, it clearly indicates that he is never changing, his promises are true and enduring, and his word is trustworthy and lasting. (My choice)
Or could “still” describe an environment, a life not marred by commotion or turbulence?

This poem is replete with simple eloquence. Thank you for sharing it with us
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Review of Tom so Small  
Review by marylou4
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Good morning Robert, my name is marrylou4 and I have the pleasure of reviewing your moving poem. I am a mother of 5 grown children, who can identify with the expressions of your heart.

Your rhyming pattern was interesting. It alternated between AABB and, what I think is free verse. I have never seen that particular pattern before. It was hard, sometimes, to adjust to the changing pattern.

Your words and phrases emitted the sweet refrain of love that emanates from the special relationship between a father and a son. This is true of any relationship between a parent and a child. I liked the formation of your stanzas. This arrangement helped the rhyme to flow easily.

I think the euphony was obscured sometimes by the combination of patterns. By repeating the word heart and the phrase side by side, you impressed upon the reader that your words reflect what is in your heart and the unbreakable bond between father and son.

I found only 2 grammatical errors:
1)So lets stand so tall my son and always side by side. It should be let’s
2)Togeather in time forever if only in our memories. It should be Together
3) A true fathers love never ends. A father’s true love never ends. By putting true after father and before love, emphasizes a father’s love is genuine and lasting.

I think this was an expressive labor of love and that it reflects a real love between you and your son. I look forward to reading more of your work.

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Review of The Article  
Review by marylou4
Rated: E | (3.0)
flcomeau, my name is marylou4 and I have the pleasure of reviewing your work today. Your story is on a list of literary works waiting for a review. I selected your introduction or prelude to a story, because I feel it is worthy of commendation. I believe your work has potential. I offer only my humble opinion and suggestions in support of your work.

My personal impression is that your writing sends a positive message. Goodness triumphing over evil appeals to me. I think you draw your reader into this moral dilemma in the 1st couple of sentences. Everyone has family or friends they would do almost anything to protect. You need to know your audience. For whom are you writing this story? Is it preadolescences ; young adult; maybe mature adult. Whomever you chose, you write for them.

If your audience is preadolescences, then you could probably write a story using fiction and fantasy. However if you want to write to for an audience of young or mature adults; you might want to think about a more realistic setting. You can use real characters with whom your readers can identify.

I offer one last piece of advice. Be sure to proof-read tour work before it goes on public display. If you do this, you will be able to rectify simple errors yourself.
"After that, I hear (your) supposed to uproot the good and all out hell breaks loose." I am sure you know that you should replace the highlighted word with the contraction (you’re).

I appreciate you taking the time to share your creative talents with us. I will look forward to reading more of your work.
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Review by marylou4
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello vpbanjo, my name is marylou4. I have the pleasure of reviewing your literary work for tonight. I hope I am referring to you by your correct username. I just joined this wonderful group today. I was looking for a poem that was in need of a shower. So please bear with me, as this is my first shower review.

I appreciate the correlation you draw between life and water. It is the same inference that the Bible draws; water sustains life. Your analogy of trees, plants, flowers and other things, with poetry, prose, stories, novels and other word art emphasizes that life is created and must be nurtured to sustain that life.

Through your constant use of comparisons between life and growth in nature with the literary efforts of writers; the reader immediately appreciates that literature in any form, comes to life through the writer’s words. You draw the reader to this one truth; words are the showers that bring refreshment. The literary works come to life through the creative use of words. The words of the reviewer can incite the writer to reach deeper inside his or her heart and mind to create more and greater works.
Our words truly do have power. We have a responsibility to use our gift from God wisely.
I completely agree with your sentiments.

I found no spelling errors or grammatical errors, but may I suggest that you consider making your stanzas more uniform.
A shower brings life into being.
With nature it's trees, plants, flowers, and
other things.
With writers it's poetry, prose, stories,
novels and other word art.
A shower sustains life and keeps it
flourishing and refreshed.

We see life in plants, trees, animals, and
humans which is showered upon with rain;
giving water and quenching thirst.
For writers a shower is the reviews we
give to help them know how their writing
affects us.
The creative thoughts and ideas which
shower a work of written art, we enjoy.

Writers and readers thirst and need refreshing
a perfect place to renew; this group provides sanctuary
Showering Acts Of Joy Group, has a wonderful
variety of showers for writers.
They nurture life and care for it so that
writers can birth their art and readers can
enjoy the beauty of the written word.
A nurturing shower has a lot of power.
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Review by marylou4
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, my name is Marylou and I have the pleasure of reviewing your poem today. I wish to commend you for being a dedicated prolific poet. Your zeal for writing is exhibited in and through your art of writing.
The form you used in this poem conveys what is in your mind and heart. Your mind contemplates the possible validity of scientific explanation, which challenges the Biblical truth of creation. For a brief moment these doubts fill your head.
Your words and lines are used effectively to show the meditations of your mind. Your rhetorical repetition helps the reader to understand the thoughts and feelings that are circling between your heart and mind. Anadiplosis is a useful poetic device.
In the last two stanzas we watch as your epiphany occurs. Creation itself reveals the reality of God’s existence; that in turn produces the hope in you. The truth, God created everything out of love. There is a purpose to creation and life; it is realized through our relationship with Jehovah. That is the basis of our faith. That recognition is the miracle.
Your poem reflects this clearly and truthfully. This honors our creator and Heavenly Father Jehovah.
I found only one small grammatical error; 1st sentence in the 1st stanza, I believe should be covered, not cover.
I thoroughly enjoyed your poem. I look forward to see your other works.
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Review by marylou4
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
What an enchanting story you wrote. The form harmonized effectively with your descriptive words. Each line evoked a vivid image of this tale. Your rhyming style brought the reader into this fantasy. It's rhythm tone was enjoyable to read.
The reader is drawn to the dragon's plight and forms an emotional bond wth the dragon's child.
This poem was well-written and I found no grammatical errors. It was a joy and privilege to read this poem.
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Review by marylou4
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Good evening, my name is Marylou and I have the pleasure of reviewing your short story. I am mesmerized by the vivid imagery of your words. Your character Melise is precocious by nature and possesses a reticent charm.

Your plot did develop quickly, which harmonized nicely with your short –story form. The action rose and fell quickly, which held my attention throughout your story.

Your words painted a complete picture from beginning to end. I could, see, hear and feel each character and eagerly followed the sequence of events. I found no grammatical error in your work.

Congratulations, well done. I look forward to reading more of your work.
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Review by marylou4
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello, I’m Marylou, today I have the pleasure of reviewing your work.
I thought your character development was incomplete, especially on Nolan. What was happening in Nolan’s life that precipitated the sequence of events? I wanted to know Nolan’s mother better. You did not include a description of any of your characters. I was curious about Nolan’s age.
As far as your story line went, the plot structure and development seemed clear and reasonable. I was emotionally invested in the characters, from the beginning. I could feel the confusion and the divergent feelings he experienced. I could sense there was an internal struggle inside Nolan.
There were some grammatical errors:
1) Either should have a semi colon instead of a comma
2) Run down a child, not ran down a child
3) The comma after me is misplaced
4) Remove the comma after road.
5) I was not capitalized in several places.
Your first person narrative was a great choice. Your story reflected the father’s personality clearly.
I think you have prize winning story on your hands, if you make a few refinements. Well done.
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Review by marylou4
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)

Hello I am Mary, also known as deafminister. I will be reviewing your work this morning. I was mesmerized by your article entitled, “Silence Is Deafening.” Reading your words was like looking into a mirror. Our experiences converge then overlap. I became hard-of-hearing late in life. I was close to 55 years of age, when I began losing my hearing. About 2 years ago, I completely lost my hearing.
Your article was well written. It was orderly sequentially structured, which made it easy and enjoyable to read.
The manner, in which you write, allows and promotes the readers’ understanding of you and your circumstances.
I noticed only 3 grammatical errors:
1) there lips, should be their lips
2) everyday, should be every day
3) along side, should be alongside
This was well-written.
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Review of Heart and Soul  
Review by marylou4
Rated: E | (3.5)
Your literary form is one I have not seen in a long time. The lines of this poem as well as the syllables are varied; this combination forms an interesting pattern and beat.
The sentence structures allows for a smooth rhythm. I appreciated and enjoyed your internal rhyme.
I did not see the euphony on the first reading. I had to go back a 2nd time before noticing the harmonious flow. There was greater ambiguity in the last three stanzas than in the previous stanzas.
I saw just a sprinkling of anaphora in your writing; I wished that it had remained true throughout the stanza. I enjoyed reading your poem and look forward to more of your work.
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Review of Neigh  
Review by marylou4
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Your story took me back about 30 years, when I was training horses. I am supposed to be assessing your literary skills.
The atmosphere of your story was charged from the start.
Your plot seemed to flow in a reasonable sequence. As the narrator, you have many intriguing options available.
I enjoyed your story and was anxious to read more.
I am sorry, but I see nothing wrong with your work, except that it was unfinished.
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Review of Love's Dissection  
Review by marylou4
Rated: E | (4.0)
Your poetic form was reminiscent of a Couplet Style, which I enjoy. The variety of your lines enhanced my enjoyment. Your poem’s flowing rhythm made it easy to read.
You skillfully used an end rhyme pattern. I was hoping to see examples of an internal rhyming pattern, but that won’t influence my evaluation of your work. Your poem had an unmistakably strong beat that resonated with its euphonic sound.
I imagined all the physical and mental tasks that came to life through your enticing words. Your thoughts and feelings were beautifully expressed.
The only suggestion I would make is to pay close attention to your punctuation; some of your commas seem misplaced.
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Review of Best Friend  
Review by marylou4
Rated: E | (3.0)
Your literary work on friendship is not a sentimental piece of fluff. It reflected a a lasting relationship, based on mutual respect. I found no serious errors in grammar, or content.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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