Ingeniously written. But I might add one comment. I am a 15 year old writer so this comment might not be the greatest. When reading this short story I often found my self thinking; What is the point of the grayness you emphasized so much? Maybe if I were to reread it I might catch the point But I really need to get some sleep. This was a very intriguing piece and I will definitely be reading more of your pieces.
Very simple, I am going to challenge you to write above and beyond the standards. Write a longer poem. Maybe describe the one you love or why you love them. You have potential, stick with it and you will go far. Good Luck. Visit my portfolio I have a poem about death on there and a short story you might like. Well all I have to say is Write On!!!!
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