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38 Public Reviews Given
39 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Joker Reasoning  
Rated: E | (4.0)
It wasn't quite what I thought it would of been, and I haven't read all the others, so I won't give any critisising untill I do.


PS. I forgot to give you 1000 GP's for befriending me so I will now!
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Review of The Mistake  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
well even from the begining I find I have few copversations, and arguments raging through my head, only to come to the same conclution, I haven't finished, but will soon. And the conclution I come to is something of which I have came across through my books as well, something both everything, but nothing, when I wrote, 'arguments raging through my head' I wasn't implying they were bad, no, I was meaning the way you were discribing them, it was GREAT, although, this is only small (only telling you this because I can see you have tried very hard on this, so in help I tell you...). Instead of, 'One materializes, speaking. “Just...ect.' I'd have done, 'One materializes as ..?.. to only opens it's mouth and strangly speak English' obviously you don't have to, but it was half, mine, and my editors idea, so don't feel presured or anything, but any way...

Well I've finnished 'oh creator', *Laugh*, I'm laughing because this topic is a very, well it's risky, but, in the end I do like it, although like always, I have to pick on a piont, and now the piont is discription, I find there are small bits missing, like what these things are, as in when your reader sees them in their head, what do they see, type of thing. but in the end, I really found there was a lot packed in to it. I think you can go far, farthan then most, I just want to help!
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Review of Diamonds and Dust  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Well I was only looking through the serch for new writers, going through I came along yours more than once, although the name stoped me from looking in. So I read almost the whole page of new storys, then, to ,my suprise I find yours, for a forth time. In my minds eye of madness I look in, and begin to read, 'I'll tell you a story son...' Reading this, I think 'Yeah, ok, that was clean, I liked it, I think I could keep reading'.
But reading on, I find the story he's telling is not the story of this, I find, the story is about telling a story. I think to my self, 'well this han't been used many of times, maybe the writer is a good one, maybe me thoughts were blinded by name'. They were, I think that way a great read, it could have done with some more detale but, that's just me, I think you should continue this story!
I'm already published, and hope to help others get there too, so far it's gone to plan, and yeah, I think YOU could be up there as well if you work hard enough. usually after reading something like this I look at there portfolio (oh, if theres spelling mistakes, it's cos my computer is playing up), so I will... Ta tar.

Sincereily J. hope to hear back.
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4
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
not too bad, alittle short, aIIthough I guess thats why it's called a 'short story'. I like the fact it fuses many elements, more than just fantasy, in fact I'm writing a book about an adventure of fantasy, and intergaactic proportions. although it's held in different planets, it's got a lot from Earth, history and fantasy combind. It remends m of my book your book does.
Hope you keep writing and sharing your creativeness with everyone~
Sincerely, Jesse*BigSmile*!
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5
Review of Boring.  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I'm slyly smiling, with a glint in my eye, I'm almost laughing, I thought it was great, and yes you should make more.
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Review of Shade Part 1  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Well was that the great book I once herd of last time I talked to you?
Cos I liked it, it was... different, I would go fantastic (although when have I ever said that about anything), but I would go to the far depths of saying it was refreshing, I'd say 'I think you should go pver it again' but who am I to judge, everything, almost everything I've wrote on this site has more mistakes in it than Romeo+Juliet, with leanardo decaprele (such as bad movie, I won't even try to spell the actors name right, let alown capitilise the first leters of both words), so many floor I will now dismiss the whole conversation...
One the other hand this passage has been writen bacially the same way as ... the other book I read (sorry my memory isn't what it once was), which is good to stick to one sort of style, I like the fact that 'Shade' is so... mystiriouse... anyway, I'd keep writing on this, but when I read the second part tomorow, I'd almost run out of more things to say.
untill we meet again, "so long fair well, avita say good bye... adu, adu, to you, you and you"... the sound of music... yes, I know, I've really sunk to a new low now!, "goooood, byeeeee... goooood, byeeeeee, good bye... bye bye"

PS, mum always sings this, so I find I can't help but write it.
7
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Review of The Storm  
Rated: E | (4.0)
wow, powerfull stuff there, I find the starting a little dry *Laugh*, but in all sirisness it's fairly good, I like the way you write, and the fact it's almost always about nature... are you sure you haven't already met that man who did my hair, that time back then?
you write well, I like the fact you said that the storm is natures Lavithan, both good but bad at the same time.
See you resses*Smile*.
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8
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I like it... I really like it, you see if this was a publisher talking(me), and you were in some sort of interveiw, I'd be stroking my beard, and keeping in a giggle because I find the little things funny. Anyway, I really liked it, I sort of drift off from time to time, but I'm back now, and have these things to say:
1. I like: the way you have disctibed the senario (don't worry about my spelling), Although I don't like: the fact you have everything in past-tense, although I have just past that tense in my writing career.
2. I like the way you have (by the way this is the first time I have seen this happen) put in to be continued, it gives a sence of suspence, although it was obvious that was what you were going for.
3.I like the fact you have only few charicters in the first part, this is easy to grip.
Now I guess your wondering why I haven't really critisesed your work, although I bet your happy I haven't, but the reason I haven't is because I only reveiw what I like, thus I wouldn't reveiw something just to waste my time critisising it.

I could go on and on, for all i=enternety, although then it would get boring, so I'llleve you with this, I hope you never stop writing, I hope to soon see another one, and hope to hear from you soon. If you wish for this comunication to continue you'll have to reply.

Sincerely J.
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Review of Rockabee  
Rated: E | (4.5)
well I like the fact from the very begining you started with incorperating the audance in to the story. its a mothod which is used for many books such as, Stephen Kings, Harry, and the writer of the Eddie Dicenson trilogy. (although it's no suprise that Stephen Kings uses all those ideas, he has writen one hundered and fifty of them) A tecnique used alot, but seen from miles away, so over looked. hjope you get this published, I'd like to read more.
J.
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10
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
well I wouldn't of put that as a 'Short Story', but a book, although it was long... very long I feel It was easy to grasp, is was gripable, a good story which strangly reminds me of something, which I don't remember. but by any chance has this been published, a book of this size should be?
mmm... It remeinds me of a moive of some sort... have you used any ideas from any movies?
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Review of Eddie Ozark  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Im fealling generes, infact so much to the piont I think I might do this... oh, and I;ve been looking for people like you, new to this site. you'll see what I mean soon enough.
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Review of kale  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Did you actually do that?
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13
for entry "Invalid Entry" 
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
mmmmmmmmmmm... I don't know, I beleive you might need a little help, but the imagination is there and I think thats the main thing... I'm going to be soon opening my own publishing company, in which I'll try to publish other peoples books as well as mine, in which I'll try to help you if you would like?
I got some good vibes from this, hope to see more, Jesse.
psno one else knows my name... lucky you!!!
14
14
for entry "Invalid Entry" 
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
well reading the first chapter and then now finnishing the second I find this great, why hasn't this been awarded something... I wonder to my self as I continue to think of what to write. Although I am curiouse is this already a read book?
I hope to see your name inbraled in gold some day, along with mine. This seems to be an easy reader which I think you have put in alt of work, I like the fact you have layed everything out well... I would write more but I'll write lots more when I read the third chapter...
keep it up!!!^_^, J.
15
15
Rated: E | (4.0)
I didn't mind it, although I do find there was something missing, while I read it, although, I do beleive you should write more, everyone should write more. You seem like you need to write more, becaue I did find some mistakes when I 'red' it, but all in all I liked it, it was easy to read. A sort of book I could read while slowly slipping in to a nice relaxing sleep.
Although I can't critersise your work with out saying, I'm 1: dislexic, to clarifie, I have troble spelling, although I've got a great imagination to make up for the loss of memory. And 2: I was only just starting off not too long ago my self, always running around hoping to find someone to pat my back and say 'everything you write is like just loosing my verginity again'.
Although no one evr said that, no, they mostly critisised me... took me two years to figure out that they only critisese my work because they care. now I'm older, and have more expirence in writing... soon I'll be printing, selling, and ya' know, more writing. Right now I'm 1: looking for newq meat, new writers, I'm soon opening my own publishing company. And 2: writing about four to six books, depending on the story line.
There has been one thing in which I have always remembered, you should always write as much as you can, the more you write the more you learn. I do hope you write more, and thanks for expressing your imagination, it's fantastic.
Sincerely J.
16
16
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
thank God!!!, I believe this is one of the very few which don't have 'vampires, werewolves or something to do with shrinking', in this I thank you. that was great, they way you explain this is great, I do hope you make more, this to me is easy to read. there is a friend I think who you both would get along to gether, just as friends, but what I'm getting to is the fact that he writes just like this, in fact almost the same sceene (don't worry about my spelling).
hope you write more: J.
17
17
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
different... is this a mirror off life... is it what you'd like life to be... is it the way you see life?
what ever it is it seems mmmmmmmmmmmm... it might need to work on the plot, but I like how you write, some people might say werd, I'd say abstract... in a good way.
18
18
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I think that was good, it's nice to see some one stick to the simple writing symbols. this chapter reminds me of the book I'm writing, it's got just about as much talking. I like the fact it's an easy reader, a shot passage in which you don't need to be compleatly awake. by this I mean it's an engoyable (don't worry about my spelling) book if it ever got turned in to one, a book in which I'd read before bed.
a book to both calm me down from a hard days work, but at the same time keep me on the edge of my seet to what might happen next. a book which keeps me awake too long reading. in a good way... I'd deffenently want to read mpore but untill then great work.
sinsily J.
ps I know my spelling is a little poor.
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Review of Alsin and Kyrin  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Great, fantastic, it was great from the start, I have been writing for years on end, and one of the problems which I have came across is making a story gripping, indded this is the way, the way to make a story gripping. I found from the very beginning it was great, in fact it's very much like the book I'm writing, I would post it but I cannot trust this site, writing to me it's my life.
out of curiosity how old are you... and please, if you don't want to say that is fine by me, I do have a few rhetorical questions if you wish to indulge in:
To me it sounds like your going to finish this book soon, and hopfully get it published, if you are nodding your head in agreement that's good, this is because I have some tips after finishing you book... this can also be used as for chapters you wish to keep safe. Once you have finished your book and/or chapter, you should go through and edit it, the trick is to go through four times, once of spelling and gramma, another for story line... well it's just the full proffing plan, for the best result.
Then take it up to your closest postage place, post it to your self, and be sure that you tell them to put a stamp on it with the date, other wise, if some one takes it to court and you don't do this, you will find that you are slightly more mad than the crazies they keep in high security asylums... or if you have read The Eddie Dickens trilogy: you'd be mader, than mad-mad aunt mord.

PS. hope your book gets published, I'm very much looking forward to it, and the next few books (if you make them).

Sincerely, J.J.W, over and out.
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