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 I happened to read your piece, and thought I would leave you with a review!
 This review is meant to be helpful, and is an effort to help improve you work
 First Impressions/How it Made me Feel: I almost cried when I read this story. I had a cousin who died on a motorcycle. She was pulling out of her driveway, and was hit by a truck. But I love how you keep the story moving, and move on from your loss. You see the positives instead of the negatives, and it gave me a lift. The emotions you made me feel with your writing was wonderful.
 What needs improvement:
I only saw a few errors, which I will point out below:
 You Wrote:You see, my mom was a pretty cool mom, even though she was a military mom.
I Suggest: I grew up in a military family. My dad's in the Air Force, and he is really cool because of it. I don't think you should downplay the fact that she was in the military. I think it would be really cool if you raised her up for being in the military, defending the country.
You Wrote:Not for me, not for my 3 siblings, my two younger brothers and my one sister.
I Suggest: I found this repetitive. Perhaps you could consider rewriting it like this:
Not for me, and not for my two younger brothers and sister.
You Wrote:I mean, yea, sure, don't get me wrong it was cool when she picked one of us up from school on her motorcycle. It was pretty awesome really.
I Suggest: I mean, don't get me wrong, it was cool when she picked one of us up from school on her motorcycle. It was awesome, really.
You Wrote:Apparently, somebody just forgot to chech their blind spot, merged, and hit my mom.
I Suggest:You misspelled check:
Apparently, somebody just forgot to check their blind spot, merged, and hit my mom.
You Wrote:I believed I had lost my siblings, and then I would lose my mind. Who knew? I was wrong.
I Suggest: I think you could split this into two seperate paragraphs to give it more emphasis. Also, I would switch the last two sentences with each other:
I believed I had lost my siblings, and then I would lose my mind.
But I was wrong. Who knew?
You Wrote:Yet, they still took us in. Born with Cerebral Palsy and Spinal Meningitis, she was my fourth sibling, and I loved her like the rest of them.
I Suggest:Just a suggestion, but I would like to know her name since you specifically give details about her.
 Food for thought: This was a wonderful piece. You have a wonderful voice in your writing. I loved how you kept repeating the phrase "Who knew?" throughout the story for emphasis. It really worked well.
Good job! And welcome to WDC! I hope to see more of your writing soon!
Sarah Kate
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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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First Impressions:
Did it Follow the Prompt:
Grammar:
Overall:
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Welcome to WDC from "
), so this poem hit close to home.
The "
This review is meant to be helpful, and is an effort to help improve you work
), but I do have three younger brothers. I remember when they were little I tried to help my parents as best as I could potty training them. Not as funny as this, but there were those moments...
I hope you have an umbrella ready!
This poem was beautiful! Your descriptions were wonderful, and I could feel the adoration and love of the speaker in your poem.