When I received an upgrade, it just blew me away. At that time, I didn't know there was a group that helped people in this way. It was such a wonderful surprise that I want to help you make WDC available to others. Keep up the great work...and the surprises!
Kate, I must be honest with you. I did not read your poem to review, but to see a sample of free verse. (I'm working on my first piece of free verse.) After reading it, however, I could not hit the back button without leaving some comments and a rating. So...this comes from a very inexperienced person.
The subject of your poem, wishes, is one that all people can relate to.
I think your poem flows nicely from beginning to end. My favorite stanza was the last one.
"that each of my days be counted
not by hours, minutes, or lists;
but by deeds, thoughts, and laughter -
time spent in the company of friends."
I can easily identify with it, and I believe other readers would be able to as well. Thanks for sharing this piece. It was very enjoyable to read.
I'm afraid this review isn't coming from someone with much experience, but I hope my comments will help.
Overall, I think you've written a lovely poem that flows nicely from beginning to end. Your comparison of raindrops to sprinkles is nice, and I like your use/choice of descriptors, esp. "million joyful splashes". I don't think you need the word "more" before comparable.
I have one question that maybe another reviewer can better answer. Is it contradictory to say the rain "falls hard" and later say that it is "soft" on your shoulders? Hard rain can sting! I don't know...just provoking thought!
Thanks for taking such a simple concept and turning it into such a happy piece of art! I really enjoyed it!
I really enjoyed taking and reading the results of this poll, and I hope the results will inspire all of us to review more pieces. It is truly frustrating to write something and have little or no response to it.
An answer that I would have liked to see in this poll is "Not always, as I don't feel qualified to rate some items." I've read pieces before that I truly didn't understand due to the subject matter, the depth, or so much symbolism. Maybe there are other people who feel this way, too.
I noticed that 748 people responded to this poll. I am curious as to what percentage of active W.C members this is. Thanks for developing this poll! It's a "goodie"!
You've written a very nice childrens' poem with a great ending considering the type of bug you were writing about. I love the last line, "My bug was expelled for preying in school." The poem has a good beginning, middle and ending, and the lines flow nicely.
Each line contains the same number of syllables, and your rhyming is fine. Your use of descriptive words and comparisons is nice which helps the reader "see" your story. You might want to take another look at the punctuation. Examples: Line 5: period instead of a comma; Line 7: period instead of a comma; Line 13: comma after bugs and period after too; ...and so on
Overall, you have written a very enjoyable poem. I think children will really enjoy it. Keep up the good work.
Congratulations for being a winner in the March contest! Your poem is so well written, so touching. I am hoping as hard as I can that you have not had this experience, but are just so sensitive and imaginative that you were able to write it as though you've been through such a terrible loss. My advice? Don't ever put down your pencil! You've got talent! Thanks for sharing this wonderful piece through WDC!
I'm glad you've learned to enjoy gardening, and have realized the personal benefits of it. You SOUND happy!
Your article is very easy to read and your message easy to follow. You have a nice beginning, middle, and end. I did find myself searching the initial paragraphs to locate your polling question. You might want to rework this section so it becomes more clear as to just what you are asking the reader. You made some good comparisons of plants/gardening to nurses and parents. There are some grammatical errors that you can easily fix. I've mentioned a few of them below. Keep writing, Vin. Your excitement shows in it, and that, my friend, is contagious!
Section on patience: The sentence beginning, "Initially it seemed..." is a bit awkward. Maybe you could reword it so it flows better. I believe you left out a word in this section. Look again at the sentence, "from the grass (was) something.." Instead of learnt, try learned.
Mike, this is a beautiful, well written haiku. Your message accomplishes it's purpose, to tell the reader that eternal life is possible/available. Thank you for sharing this piece, and Congratulations a winning haiku.
Your poll is certainly about a topic that grabs one's interest. Once you vote, you can hardly wait to see the results.
Your polling question was very clear. The responses were quite thought provoking, but I thought there was some overlap in them. This made it difficult, for me, to select only one response. Still it's a fun poll Thanks for writing about this topic.
Hello, Elaine's Ace!
I really enjoyed your story. It has a good beginning, middle, and end, and the events are written in a logical sequence. You might try including more simile and/or metaphor in your writing to give the reader a better visual image of what is happening in your story. Also, your description indicates that this story is about overcoming a fear of horses, yet I saw no reference to this in your piece. Overall, this is a very nice story with a happy ending. Thank you for submitting this piece. Keep up the good work...and keep up the riding!
Very nice story line with an unexpected ending. Good rhyming and descriptions. There were a few places where it didn't flow very well. I think if you used the same number of syllables in the lines it might flow better. Thanks for writing this. It was very enjoyable. Keep on writing! :)
Nice little poem with some good visual images. The rhyming is well done. Nicely written from a child's perspective. You might take another look at the final stanza. When I read this, I wondered what the lily did to make herself silly. Also, it seemed a bit strange that a flower would be a child's best friend. All in all, this is a sweet little piece that children could enjoy. Continue writing! :)
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