Pepper, I read "The Comming Storm" and your description of the events in the garden were..... well..........very visual. This was nicely written and easy to follow.
Suddenly, the clouds begin to swirl and sway,
rushing and tumbling in a tumultuous struggle
to snuff out the light of the moon,
as its waning strength gives way to the darkness
of the coming storm.
These lines were powerful and gave the full essence of the power of Darkness and what a great climax to the scene. Thanks for sharing this with us.
Cym, I read your poem and I will say, it was full of emotion. Your poem was well written and easily read. The flow was nice and steady without any stumbling blocks. I had to read it several times because I kept getting the thought that this was about your personal life and it disturbed me to the point where I wasn't concentrating on the writing itself. I think you captured the moment of pain and unplanned abandonment very well. I would like to read more of your work. Thank you for sharing this piece with us.
OK, I told you I had to keep reading your work. "The Essence" has to be the final chapter in the woman's life in "Sunset". She has come from deep depression, gained confidence and now the grand finale of strength, self worth and finding love. The three poems you have posted are all five star. Keep it going. I look forward to reading more of your poems when posted. Thanks for producing such nice work.
This is George again. I went to your portfolio to find other works you wrote. "Awakening" is another nice piece that flows so well and really gets the emotions flowing. As I read this, I was hoping it was a sequel to the rather sad woman I read before and finally her life has turned for the better. Whether this is the case or not, that's the way I'll think of it. I like your writing style. It is easy to read and you know how to give nice visuals along the way. Don't be shy about posting your work, it is very good.
I'm not sure what to call you (Name): but this writing is excellent. I could visualize the parts that I haven't experienced but I know first hand a lot of it. The writing is smooth and very visual. I really don't know the difference between a review and a critique so what ever you call this, I am uplifted by your words that brought back a lot of my forgotten memories of my earlier days growing up in Kentucky. We had a two hole outhouse which made us top shelf but they were never used at the same time. Thank you for sharing this great piece of writing with us.
Arwen, The first part of your poem gave me a visual of a woman who at the end of her day was enjoying some earned rest and warmth of the setting sun. I could feel the contentment in that scene. Then I got to the second half and wow, what a change. I liked the comparison of the sun setting and her emotions setting as well. As the sun gives everything life and illumination it gave her the only illumination she had. When the sun set, everything became darker even her personality. I like the turnaround when the sun rises tomorrow so will her appearance even if deep inside she is in deep despair. I enjoyed reading your work. It was easy to read and the words flowed without hesitation points. Nice piece of writing. Thank you for sharing with us.
April, Wow, I hope this wasn't written from personal experience. The piece was chocked full of emotion and I think you captured the essence of the feelings. Your style was simple yet made for a nice comfortable read. I've been reviewing mostly poetry lately and the ones that are easy to read and understand are in my opinion, the best. Keep up the writing and I hope to see more of your work on WDC. Thanks for sharing with us.
SoulWriter, I enjoyed reading your poem. The words not only made a great statement but it was so easy to read. The words flowed as it should without any stumbling blocks to disrupt the thought. I particularly liked the message. We have to live by faith when all else fails. This is a very enjoyable read. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Max, "Inside or Outside" was a very good read and will take its place in my writing help file. Each time I read something like this, I realize how many helpful articles are available on WDC. I still consider myself a newbie even though I've been on line with WDC for several months. Your article was well thought out and to the point. Thank you for taking the time to write this and sharing the information with us.
Hey Writerpenman, OK, I read the 77 words as you requested. I will say that you did a good job at drawing a visual of the child on the beach building the sandcastle. He was very much into the building aspect and like all things on the beach, it will eventually wash away and disappear. The destruction of the castle didn't seem to bother the child since he soon found other fun things to do like swimming with his friends. This was good for a short - to the point - composition. Nice.
Ezra, this piece is good. It kept my undivided attention through the end. What I liked most about it was wondering if he was dreaming or really dying from the time he woke up. I felt he was dreaming but there were times when I wasn't sure. You kept the momentum going from the start. There were no dead or slow spots to distract from the theme. I haven't experienced a subway but you did paint a nice mental picture of the scene. I did notice your use of "Show not Tell". That made the entire piece visual. Great job!!! I've read several of your works lately and I like your style of writing.
Karen, This is a nice light poem. It told a story which I can relate to. The style in which you wrote this is the same pattern I use when I write a little poetry. I like this style because it is easy to understand and follow. If you have more works, be sure and post them. Thanks for sharing with us.
Randi, I did enjoy your story to the max. Every now and then I read something that could mirror image what goes on here at home. I can substitute the critters here in your story and have a real visual. I know this is not much of a review but I did want to tell you I enjoyed reading about Calvin and his protective vices. We even had a snow plow rumble by at 4:00 am this morning. Nice work.
Richharry, "The troubling Storm" was a little difficult to read. The reason being, I think you may have rushed through this and didn't proof read. There were too many words either left out or mispelled.
ie: because if don't praise yourself . Here I think you left out "you".
ie: born with a bundle of dollar in his/her hand. Should dollar be plural?
ie: When you are determine hardly will you be push off track. This sentence could use some reconstrucion. Perhaps - When you're determined, you will seldom be pushed off track.
These are only suggestions to make things flow smoother so the reader can concentrate on content without running into speed bumps. Your message was clear it just needs some tuning up. Keep writing.
Jenn, I read your poem and I think you captured the inner feelings of this poor soul. I did find something that actually stopped the flow of thought at the beginning with the use of the word "to" In the second line. The "to" as in twisted and the "to" as in rare, should be too.
To twisted to live yet to rare to simply die
Other than the "to" problem, I think you did a very good job composing your idea.
Diane, the tour was very good. I've been a member of W.com for a few months but I still feel like a newbie when it comes to navigating the site. There's a lot to take in. I've been finding some things I've looked for by accident but I need a full blown tour on the entire site. Is there such a thing? Sometimes I feel I don't know where to look for answers except to ask the staff. Forgive me for asking soooooo many questions. Someday, I will get it figured out. Thanks for your tour. It was very colorful.
I'm new to this site and so far, I've been impressed with all the helpful members who invest many hours (as you have with this article), in helping us newbies better understand the mechanics of writing and reviewing. I will make a copy of this and keep it in my writing binder for reference. Thank you for taking the time to produce this. It will be an asset to my writing endeavors.
George
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