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Review by Geza Fuchs
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey, I like the idea of the poem and its underlying message, the optimism it conveys. But I feel it's too abstract the way it is right now, you should try to offer more concrete images to better communicate feelings to your readers.
I like the last bit about the butterfly and the star, but they are static images. You could add a verb or two in there, make it a "fluttering butterfly" or a "sparkling star crossing the heavens" to add a more dynamic aspect to the image.
This is my first review, by the way.
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