Great little myth to explain the creation of Day and Night. A wee bit of grammatical help if I may:
Time past and man grew. Day continued to heal the diseased, and man's crops flourished. Soon great storms stuck the people. Fiends and demons slaughtered and stole from the people. Again the people looked to the sky. They cried "oh Lord, we are grateful for the spirit Day. It has brought us many riches through food and health but these new troubles have left many of us weak and dieing.
"past" should be "passed." (past appears twice in your story this way). "dieing" should be "dying."
Otherwise, a nice little piece!
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