Hi there! Just a couple of words about your first chapter.
I liked: The description of the dragon. I have never read about a Rainbow colored one.
I was confused about: Why so many spaces? There are a couple of sentences that have double spacing between them. It translates into a paragraph and a single sentence paragraph is confusing.
I really enjoyed this piece. It was well written and down to earth. At first, I thought Harvey was the one with issues, then I realized that it was Helen. The twist in the plot was what kept me reading. I just had to see what was going to happen. Thanks for sharing!
Hi! Just read your short story and I felt that it has a good start. Reminds me of a cross between Stephen King and the movie "Something Wicked This Way Comes". I was a little disappointed by the ending, though. I expected them to find something of the missing friends when they tore down the "Un" House. Or something that explains why the Un House was so evil? Also, why did it let the main character go and not the rest of them?
I am not familiar with the type of poem this represents, but it is interesting. I also think it is a subject that most poets would not even think of writing about. I visualize a passionate embrace between two Campbell's Soup Factory workers after a long day at work.
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