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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/graysacres
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Review by A Gray
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
“Layle, that was amazing!” said Ivy excitedly, her eyes wide. “That was the Protector.” Was this a question or a statement?

I would go through and check your tense.

The man turned around walking into the Cove, the other two following, about to cause the greatest disaster Kio has ever witnessed in its time as a loving peaceful village. That peace was about to end.

I think this would sound better as Kio had ever witnessed.

It's interesting and I want to read more. : )
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