A wonderful way to state the national history, the region was believable, as was the story. Sets up the story perfectly. I did find myself wondering about the travels of Soraine and Fomeen. How did they acquire the scepter? How long did it take? What dangers did they encounter, not only while in the realm of the lord of darkness, but on the way there? A possible second bard’s tale, or even a prequel to the main story.
I could only find two errors:
“Over time the barriers set by the Crystal begain to weaken. Should be “began”.
Sophan was only able to save enough of the Scepter’s magic t make it possible for the wielder of the Scepter to determine the truth in anything told to him. Should be “to”.
Being a fan of the occult and mythical "monsters" this story was excellent. Were-wolves being my personal favorite just made it that much more blissful. With your small suspence tactics and hidden clues as to what is to come I was certain that all was not as it appeared but I was still surprised when it became known they were vampires, wasnt unexpected but was still surprised and I was completely shocked that Brain and Max were were-wolves, which made me look silly...sitting at my computer cheering on two fictional characters that I didnt even create myself.
There was a small discrepancy I noticed in Brians description. The two passages:
<he looked the part of the prototypical nerd, but without the smarts.> and
<He knew he would never be masculine… or attractive… or intelligent… or anything else that a girl would find appealing.>
these made me assume that Brain was unintelligent or even stupid, yet he noticed that something was amiss with the situation and expressed those beliefs with both Max and Becka. To me that didnt fit with the early description.
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“Over time the barriers set by the Crystal