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5 Public Reviews Given
5 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Greg Stevens
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is brilliant and fun. An excellent short piece, and a great riddle. I think I "get it" and know the solution, but I won't but it in a public review for the sake of your other readers (I'll send you an email).

I am biased toward liking the "mind-bending" riddle part of it, but additionally I like the actual writing, as well. The dialogue is clear and realistic, with a the right amount of flow but also the right amount of interruption and hesitation to be like actual dialogue. It is almost entirely driven by the dialogue is there, so there is minimal description, but what is there is clear and vivid enough to convey the setting easily.

Excellent work!
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Review of Turning Dark  
Review by Greg Stevens
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Title - Ambiguous but powerful, suggesting the tone of the piece without revealing anything in particular

Character/s - A troubled man in a troubled world, the reader is given a very realistic window into his thoughts and feelings.

Plot - What is going through a man's mind immediately after committing a crime, returning home, and then later when he finds out the penalty for what he has done.

What I liked: The writing is fantastic. Your descriptions are vivid, you convey a consistent and convincing tone with the character's voice. I enjoy the film-noir-meets-the-future style of the writing, and you obviously are able to easily and effectively carry of the "voice" of the main character. It comes across as natural, believable, and very authentic.

I also liked the sci fi concept: the look at the impact of cloning on the economy and workforce, the prejudice and blame that people inevitably feel towards them, and then of course the odd and unexpected twist of the punishment at the end, reflecting the status of clones in society. The way you play with using the term "cop killer" to mean "copy killer" and contrast it with "police killer" is beautiful.

Errors and suggestions: Only one possible typo that I caught, and I could be wrong: "I said good riddance to the Glock and chunked it into the dumpster." Should this be "chucked" into the dumpster? It's also possible that "chunked" is slang that I'm unfamiliar with.

The only other thought that might be a suggestion: I do find it a little surprising that the main character would not be aware that the penalty for his crime would be so mild. Did he think that it would be like murdering a person? If so, why would be not be aware that the penalty for copy killing was light? Isn't this something he would have been exposed to, in movies or television if not day-to-day life? It's not a major deal, but part of me feels like there could be some way you could introduce something earlier, that would explain why this comes as such a surprise to the main character.

But that is really very minor: overall, this is a beautiful piece and I'm very glad that I read it.
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