I am not the best at poetry, but my late Mother was a poet in her own right and so I find it interesting to read others' works.
Speaking only on the stylistic aspects of your work, I find it enjoyable. Rhyming and meter are used, but not required in every line. I also like how you conclude the work with the same lines you started with. This could either mean that the process is cyclical, or that you just chose to use the same lines to conclude as you'd used to start!
(I am refunding your auto-award, as I feel that paid reviews tend to have a bias. I also do not give "perfect" scores as I feel we can all have room to improve.)
Would suggest "fleshing out" how either the Star Trek characters are inserted into the Star Wars world, or else the reverse (maybe a ST wormhole?)
Also, your writing seems a little choppy. While you don't have to have paragraphs that run for pages, it is nice to have something run for a few before shifting to another subject.
Lastly, I would point out that its "phaser" not "fazer", an acronym that stands for:
PHASER Phased Energy Rectification (Star Trek)
PHASER Photon Amplification By Stimulated Emission of Radiation
First off, I never offer "perfect" reviews, because everyone's writing can use improvement in some way or another.
That being said; this piece is very well written. While my writing tends more toward fiction, my Mother has written several journal/memoir type pieces about her parents which have given me a better understanding of my grandparents.
I could easily see this piece being part of a larger biography of your family.
Having covered the minimum character requirements of the review, might I say that writing such as this takes a great deal of bravery to write. You should be proud of your brother's service. Military service can have challenges the "rest of us" don't have to deal with. Unfortunately sometimes, some don't feel they can deal with the stresses they weren't anticipating.
If all you seem to recall of your brother is his taking his life, I can only suggest that you remember the fact that it was your picture he had in his wallet. He loved you, even if your memories of him are less than clear.
I am also returning your auto-gift GP's. Your story was worth reading without being paid for it.
As I'm sure you'd intended, you had me going thinking that it was a robot on a space ship. Rather than a dog. When you get to: "Intersection of East Fourth and Cherry Lane." it is then that the reader realizes that you're speaking instead of an earthly location, and the view shifts from space to home.
Quick simple question: I noticed you put Lucifer's name in lower case. Was this by intent? Lower case [l]ucifer as a contrast to Upper Case [G]od?
Asside from that, this is a wonderful start! Or is it a start? For those with faith, this could stand alone, sort of like hearing the radio voice of Paul Harvey saying, "And now you know the Rest of the Story..."
I don't give perfect scores on the idea that all have room for improvement. And I just generally don't give 'half stars' cause its like a plus or minus on a grade in school...an empty praise.
Wow. Very strong. While thankfully I grew up in a family where abuse was not the norm, I do have friends (including my wife) for whom it was not unheard of.
I appreciate that you showed that even the unlovable can still find love. I also like the alligory of the storm/weather and the storm/temperment.
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