I don't quite understand why you'd post what looks like a school assignment here, but hey, who am I to judge? 😀 You give a solid analysis of the excerpt shown, but I'd need some more context to really understand how good of an analysis it really is. Maybe give a summary of the whole story so a reader with no context has a better idea of what's going on. Anyway, you seem to have a good grasp on grammar with no glaring mistakes, and your word choice and sentence structure is excellent. A small word of advice though , I'd avoid using terms like “lol” on school assignment if that's what this is. Hope I helped! 😀👍
It's an interesting story you're weaving together here, but you should really proof read this. It has lots of different capitalization and grammatical errors. If you proof read this yourself, I'd recommend that you ask someone else to to point all the errors.
I think this poem should be read to every aspiring athlete! It shows the value of hard work and perseverance. I hope others and yourself take this advice, not just for sports but for everyday life. This helped me remember that I need to work my ass off if I want to be the best!
This was an interesting piece, you don't really read too much stuff from the perspective of a slave. I'm about 98% sure that the grammar and spelling mistakes were on purpose, but if not, I'd recommend getting someone to proof read this for you.
The only thing I'd add is, how hard and intense the labor was for this man. It helps us know and understand his character better. Also, maybe consider adding the abuse he likely suffered st the hands of his master; it would help us sympathize with him and thus like him better.
Is this a NASACAR poem? While I would like to spend this review cracking jokes about left turns and stuff, that'd be obnoxious so I won't.
So time to actually review, 1st there's a spelling error "Chose" should be choose. 2nd commas should go right after a word there should be no space, the only space would be after the comma. When you format the poem like that it makes hard to read.
You may be teeny tiny bit nuts. Just kidding, you wrote a beautiful, albeit very sad, story. The story was quick and to the point but it didn't feel rushed at all. It feels like an old bedtime story you would hear when you were very little. It's very hard to find a story these days that has a magical and wonderful feel, but at the end teaches a sad but very important lesson.
Wow, that's a lot of stuff. I don't think poetry is about all that. It's about having fun with it. I could use all of the things you listed, but I'd be bored out of my mind! So, I'm glad someone else thinks that structure in poetry is boring.
Wow that was really pretty and uplifting. Just a few little nit picks though, 1st It would be a little eaiser to read if you seperated it into diffrent stanzas, 2nd calm and jubilant are antonyms, I think you should put "yet" instead of "and" not only would it make sense then, it'll also add contrast, and make it more interesting!
Alright no offense it's really boring. Try to use smaller words, because using enormous words when their not needed makes you look extremly pretentious. You bring up interesting ideas but your delievery is sub par. Also try splitting the third stanza up, short seperated stanzas are easier to read then one monster stanza.
An interesting storry, but you kind of left the audience hanging, you shouldn't mention a plan to murder someone if you don't plan to follow though. And why the main character wants to help a guy murder his wife. Or, why he would care if he was rude to a guy that was planning to muder his wife. I personally feel that it's an unrealistic reaction. You might also want to add what everybody looks like, are they tall,short,skinny etc. You should also consider giving your characters an age, for all the reader knows the story could be about a twelve year old.
You might also want to describe the bowling alley, like how it smells or what it looks like. And, at work why would they give hot dogs for free, and if they weren't tell us hiw much they cost.
I'll be honset that was quite deppressing😭 However it got your point across and made your reader feel emotion. It was an interesting story and I sincerely hope that you keep writing About happy things aswell as well.
sincerly Majestic moose.
P.s may the majestic moose be with you...or else 😱
Wow...beatifully done. Honsetly it sends its message along wonderfully and it is incredibly well written. The descriptive adjetives you used made the story inticing and a little scary. You should consider writing a sequel displaying the emotion you currently feel after is is all over.
Wow. Was quite interesting but I think the title should have be changed to "uniformness" with the ending there. Have fun with thy future endeavors my good man. And may the fates forever be in thy favor. Thos has been done by the one the only Majestic moos
Beautiful, your poem sends a wonderful message that promotes self worth and confidence.
You should be very proud of yourself for writing something so beautifu. I hope you keep writing things like this and inspire confidence in other people.
If I may make a suggestion though one: use more detail exactly on what makes you sad, or what made you mad. Number Two is you may want to add a little more darknees to the poem to make the light pop more.
Wow that was quite powerful honsetly I'm not sure how to respond to this but here are some errors I found: they were no periods,
you need to add commas at several places, and that's pretty much it.
:D Keep writing or elss
It's beatiful and it brings tears to my eyes. It seemed like though you were setting them up to be lovers don't be afraid to write what you think is right. Even though it might be frowned upon by some don't be afraid to write on. If you need something to call me you may know me as William(yes I am a male)
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