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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/hlmackenzie
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15 Public Reviews Given
15 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Highway Hiker
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi! This is a lovely piece; someone is a very lucky lady! I enjoyed how you use the phrase "there she is" to open each paragraph; it really helped pull it together. For the most part I feel that your words flowed very smoothly; the only real hiccup that I felt was the sentence, "She might need to use a little blush or concealer but never excessive." It felt out of place with the rest of the piece. Saying that she "might need to use" gave me the impression that the writer was offering a very gentle criticism- gentle, but a criticism all the same. This is such a beautiful testament to the natural beauty, wisdom and strength of "Rachel" that to indicate she "needed" blush or concealer seems to indicate that she ideal EXCEPT she might need just a touch of artifice.
This of course is just my opinion and a very small point in an otherwise beautiful piece of prose. It just seemed to pull me out of your writing a bit. I truly enjoyed reading this and hope to read a lot more from you. Thank you for sharing this!
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Review of After the Crash  
Review by Highway Hiker
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I LOVE this! The twist was completely unexpected and while my stomach clenched just a little bit in sympathy, I couldn't but smile and nod. Very nicely done.
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Review of My Little Devil  
Review by Highway Hiker
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love this! It's honest and wistful and I think these feelings are familiar to anyone who has at one time or another fallen for a wonderful friend who is "straight". In just a few words you touched on the complex emotions and longing that this situation brings us. Thank you for writing this!
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