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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/inny
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55 Public Reviews Given
62 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review by A to z
Rated: E | (3.0)
Mine either.
2
2
Review by A to z
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
I would eliminate the telling segment, beginning with 'You'll know soon enough' and ending with 'I cannot'.

This passage jerked me out of the moment because it came across as an info dump. I assumed the condemned already knew the reason for their sentence. If not, then why the poisoned tea?

But that's just me.

Overall, an entertaining short.
3
3
Review by A to z
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Too many characters to keep track of in this short segment. Any way you might consider reducing it by half and introducing the other characters later? Seriously, I got lost with so many names being banted about so early in the tale.

As a first draft this concept is very good. Keep writing, you've got something here!
4
4
Review by A to z
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Wow, this is great. Love the perspective.

This is the first chapter I've read...has his father passed and he doesn't realize it?
5
5
Review of Pool of Humanity  
Review by A to z
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Nice 👍
6
6
Review of Armature  
Review by A to z
Rated: E | (5.0)
Excellent piece!
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7
Review by A to z
Rated: E | (4.0)
Actually I, and a few hundred others, saw something large hovering and still in the sky one night in the late 90's. No photo was ever produced and Fort Drum claimed not to have seen anything on their radar. 911 blew up with calls, though...
8
8
Review of The Missing Arm  
Review by A to z
Rated: E | (3.5)
Okay, I'm smiling here.

A nice short humorous piece.
9
9
Review by A to z
Rated: E | (4.0)
Creepy and funny.

Neat how you had me thinking it was a man cutting down a tree and then whap! - flinging ME into the opposite scenario.

Well done.
10
10
Review of Dream  
Review by A to z
Rated: E | (4.0)
From your pen to my heart.
11
11
Review of True innocence  
Review by A to z
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Is this a retelling of an Indian folktale?

It's a fine story, finely told.
12
12
Review of Cheesy.  
Review by A to z
Rated: E | (5.0)
OMG!
13
13
Review by A to z
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Is this a scene from a longer tale? If so, you have me hooked.
14
14
Review by A to z
Rated: E | (5.0)
Nice! The last few poems I've read here have been fantastic, including this one.
15
15
Review of In the Garden  
Review by A to z
Rated: E | (5.0)
Excellent!
16
16
Review of Deep Darkness  
Review by A to z
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
This scares me. It reads like a suicide note.

It's very well written but freaks me out.
17
17
Review by A to z
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a fiver -- any poem that almost brings me to tears deserves it.
18
18
Review by A to z
Rated: E | (4.0)
Nice -- the hope that lust and love are one.

Only time will tell...

Enjoyed this piece.
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19
Review by A to z
Rated: E | (3.5)
Interesting metaphors. Well written, though I would have liked a bit more.
20
20
Review by A to z
Rated: E | (5.0)
Like the way you set this up then laid it out.

An admirable narrative.
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21
Review of Big Bang  
Review by A to z
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is both funny and great!
22
22
Review by A to z
Rated: E | (3.0)
Your writing is crisp and clear, your frustration palpable. It's just the apex of the piece I'm struggling with.

Bungie jumping, sky diving, zip lining usually involves someone else who's working so you can enjoy yourself, doesn't it? Maybe they don't consider their jobs productive to society,either.

Aside from the logic issue with this piece I consider you an excellent writer. I would definitely like to see more of your work.
23
23
Review of Two Together  
Review by A to z
Rated: E | (4.0)
Kudos to your cheekiness!
Nice job!
24
24
Review of Dog onna Bog  
Review by A to z
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow!
I'm a fan!
25
25
Review of Memories  
Review by A to z
Rated: E | (5.0)
Lovely
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