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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jasper-kasper
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8 Public Reviews Given
8 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of In search of love  
Review by jasperkasper
Rated: E | (4.0)
I like your imagery with the lotus.

Possible suggestions would to drop the 'was' in line 2 and not repeating 'I found you' in line 4
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2
Review of Cat  
Review by jasperkasper
Rated: E | (4.5)
I like the play in cats need to be in boxes but are already putting their next adventure in the house.
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3
Review by jasperkasper
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really like your juxtaposition of the hair and the importance it has in this poem.
And the parts of us all that remain in death as well both physically and hinting at the spirit left in the world.
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4
Review of White Cutlass  
Review by jasperkasper
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
The first and third stanza it feels a little off and first read I thought you meant you as in your person and not the car.

Then the closing stanza feel a little heavy handed might want to look for another phrase for high specs and not end so hard on the word sex.
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5
Review of Autumn  
Review by jasperkasper
Rated: E | (4.0)
I can feel the energy you capture in your words. I can feel the winds moving my hair reading this.
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6
Review of Aloneness  
Review by jasperkasper
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really like the story you are telling in and it encapsulates feelings I have felt tugging at me time and time again.
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