I like up until the last paragraph. I am confused on the last one. I thought the story is about the young girl and then it switches to the mom, I think. Maybe put the mom's feelings in a separate paragraph?
Good one!
I can see it developing into a longer story too. I like the twist and turns of the plot.
The girl becoming the victim was a great turn in the story. It would be the pits, definitely bad karma for her.
The only problem I had was keeping Orion and Spencer separate since there was a lot going on in a short amount of time.
I like it!
The story is very easy to read and flows in an interesting way. It kept me reading on. Great job. It is different than other stories. Sometimes it is difficult to find a story that does not follow what everyone else is writing. Good job. I am interested in knowing how it turns out.
Just be you. But yes, wear underwear. :) People judge too much in today's world. One just needs to find that confidence to say who cares. I think lots of people go through times of depression, one just needs to find a way to the top of the happy chart. I have found that some of it is what you eat. I make sure I take vitamins just in case I don't eat right. I believe the sunshine has a lot to do with our moods too. Get the sun in your daily routine. I get a lot more done when all those happen. Keep writing too. Writing is an outlet to emotions and if I hadn't wrote in High School in my journals, I think I would be dead right now. It was my stress release. Great writing, keep it up.
I like the story and was not expecting the twist with the creature. It had me convinced something gruesome was going on. Good job. The story is well written with enough description to put images in my head. I like the setting of the corn stalks, made me think of the movie Children of the Corn. It added to the suspense.
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