We are all mostly trapped in a concrete jungle. I think your imagery really enhances and alludes to this theme. I like the use of juxtaposition and parallels that are portrayed in this poem, it leaves me yearning to return to the wilderness and relish and bask in the glory of nature. Thanks for the poem!!
S.A.B
Its amazing that you can establish such brilliant imagery in such a short poem!! I Have no negative comments and to be honest I am using this poem as a way of contacting you, I would love to join the WDC, but do not know how... maybe you could give me a little tutorial. Thanks for the great poem!!
S.A.B
Are we ever free or happy? We must experience the feeling of being held against our will in order to experience freedom, and without unhappiness we could never truly know what it feels like to be happy. Without these necessary attributes in our global society we would never seek to achieve anything, we might be able to escape from the metaphorical box that has diminished our freedom and happiness. But this means that we have just moved on to an even bigger box that, as humans, we would feel the compulsion to escape from. As humans we can never achieve true happiness, because it is a quest of arrogance, the thought that one can control his surroundings is just pride, which in many pieces of literature is mans greatest sin. And even those who are blessed with good fortune might not think they are being contained in a box, they are mislead. The quest for freedom and happiness is a search for the divine, we are mere mortals and it is therefore unobtainable. Great poem!!
S.A.B
I really enjoyed this poem!! I find the dragon intriguing because it represents the mysterious and unnatural part of all human beings. I love the ideas that are portrayed throughout the poem, especially "The hand of fire feeds on wooden flesh". The alliteration and the powerful imagery really enhanced the poem for me and transported me to a place of wonder where anything is possible. Although the poem was rife with brilliance I found several problems with the form. In a traditional English sonnet there are a series of ten syllables that are stressed and un-stressed. Although you fallowed these rules a majority of the time about half of these lines where void of the rules that all poets must fallow. I know Shakespeare made exceptions, and we all do. But sometimes to much change creates a misshapen rhythm that becomes hard to fallow. I'd suggest reading the poem over again and patching up some of the problems. Otherwise amazing work and great poem!!
S.A.B
I really enjoyed this poem! I thought that it clearly showed the indecisiveness a writer can have when confronted with a new challenge. I can really relate as a ballet dancer because new works are always being created that puts the dancers out of their comfort zone. I have one question, and that is for the last two lines should it not be "she has" because it is putting present tense with past tense. Overall great poem, I thoroughly enjoyed it!
S.A.B
Hi Christian. I found the idea of this poem interesting but nonetheless I could not completely grasp the concepts you introduced in your first couple of lines. Maybe to complete the ideas you are trying to convey you could rework the first couple of lines to make the imagery clearer. I’m not sure if you just missed this as a typo but I think, as far as I’m concerned that the line "That’s why they're thousand miles apart" should either be ( a thousand miles) or (thousands of miles) Just a minor error. Happy writing!!
S.A.B
Beautiful!! I love the thought that was put into this poem. It made the message of spring all the more powerful when the idea of self-improvement and growth was added. Great job!!
S.A.B
I think that it is very difficult to review a philosophical idea, especially one as argued upon as religion. I do not have any critiques but I do however have some thoughts that passed through my head while reading. I am wondering why the ideas of science and religion are so separated in our present day lives. The idea of religion, I believe, was created by humans in order to explain what we know now as scientific fact. Lighting in the Greek time period was thought of to be caused by Zeus, whereas now we know it is caused by a reaction between the positive and negative charges of a cloud. What i'm getting at is the idea of the logical "next step" for religion, which would undoubtedly be science. I'm really curious to see what you think about this so write back!!
S.A.B
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