So many questions!!! That's not such a bad thing though. A good writer keeps the reader thinking and asking questions throughout the whole piece! So, good job!! This is very believeable!! Which is also good!
Write on!
kam2the101
WOW!!! I have to say WOW!!!!!! This is AMAZING!!! It reminded me of this weeks episode of One Tree Hill. I LOVED this piece!!!!! Will you PLEASE write more!!! I would like to hear about what happened with this character and what's going on with her friends and family, and about Aaron, is he going to come and visit her? Is everybody else okay?? OOO!!! So many questions!! Write more PLEASE and let me know when you do. Thank you SOOOOOOOOO MUCH FOR LETTING ME REVIEW THIS!!!
p.s
Your sentence fluency is GREAT...as well as the whole story!!!
Kayla
I only found one part of flaw, it's very small though. "'Just a meeting with another of those weird alien things. I'll be back before evening chow.'" That was it. Chow, is spelled ciao actually. I really liked this story though. This story is a mix of Serenity, Stargate SG1, Firefly, and many other Sci-Fi shows. I think you really understand sci-fi and know what your talking about. There were alot of big words and it takes a little more time to read. You might want to change a few sentences to make your sentence fluency flow alittle better. You have a lot of long and stretchy sentences. This piece is very good! I can tell you've put alot of time and thought into it. Good job and keep writing!
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