2/5 Rating, it's good but you need to revise this and polish the hell outta your writing skills. im not too good either, but im not gonna sugercoat. not trying to hurt your feelings.
Take the evil away, and all of this is gone, but the "lord" is too lazy to fix what he did, creating that tree and not removing the serpent was our downfall,caused by him, technology is a sin, clothes are a sin, everything man made is sinful because of god's error, we call ourselves sinful and demonic in churches, but it is GOD'S mistake. why didn't he remove the serpent?
write chapter 4, this is getting interesting. A hypo-critical mom who cheats and got caught red-handed by her bunking daughter, great build-up and end it with a bang! :D 100/5 rating!!!
correct, time is the very life force of life itself. however there are other ways it can function, what would you do if you could freeze time just like pausing a movie?. or what if you were immortal?.
make more, this series is epic. Ya gotta make a 2nd one man. well anyhow try and review my stories when you get the chance and also have some gps roughly 300. Very good story and keep writing, you should also write a zombies story of your own. Have a nice day.
wow this was an excellent story and was very creepy & scary, good job and keep writing stuff like this. im giving it a 4.5 rating because it was good, but you have some spelling errors in the story. Either way good and descriptive. have a nice day and try to review some of my items.
wow interesting, sad and scary. You have a good element taste. Well I will send you 5,000 gift points and have a nice day Rae Johnson. ya know what here have 10,000.
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