Another well done piece. A suggestion, if I may-you have lines that seem to run across the page while others stay close to home-I find this a little distracting. I think you were trying to stay in your structure of a 4 line stanza-which is fine, but with your free verse like this-the stucture does not have to be strict-just let yourself flow.
Thanks for sharing your talent with us, I look forward to reading more from you. Welcome to writings
This is great, but it seems to me that it may be unfinished-that could just be me. I know this could be stronger if you added more to it, but this is your poem and you have done well with it-just my opinion
I like this piece but I did find a few things that should be fixed up. Like, when referring to God, you should always capitalize the first letter in God, Him, Lord, You etc.
Wow! This piece jumps from something beautiful to something sad. You have done it well and have me, the reader, seeing everything as it happens. Very well done!
I think these are just splendid! You must have been a girl scout at one time That is exactly what they look like. You have done an excellent job! Keep up the great work!
A very deeply written piece. I am sure that each and every one of us at some point in time, have thought about these very things.
Your stanza's are great, the only suggestion I would make is to make everyone of them with the same number of lines. That is because you have so many with only four lines and your last two stanzas go above that. It takes away from the flow a little.
Thank you very much for the information. Frankly, I had no considered emailing someone from another writing site to give this one more exposure. It's a great idea and will plan on doing as you suggest.
Thank you for all of your hard work, so that we may have something to work towards.
Very well written and your opinion is very well expressed.
I found a few errors, one being you forgot the ' in won't. The other being that it is not proper grammar to start a sentence with And. Also, you should spell out 3 in your second paragraph. Rule is to always spell out under 100, don't know why, sorry I can't say.
I believe you are wrong that those who are pro-life don't get their say. Believe me, they do, or are you too young to remember the great show of baby embores at a protest? Just a question.
Again, your writing skills are wonderful and I enjoyed reading your opinion. Keep up the great work!
Wow! This is very powerful! My heart stopped right off the bat, great work.
The only part I did not agree with is, the explaination the mother gave the child. I don't know any mother, being one myself, would use such huge words for their child. But then again, I am not a Harvard family either.
Awesome, you have quite the flare for the traditional poetry. I appauld you on your talent. This is the best thing I have read all day mmmmm Thanks for sharing.
This is incredible! Everything flows just right and your use of today so many times just makes it hit home that much more. I really thought at first it would be overkill, but then it just hits you. A great piece, keep up the wonderful work!
I am a little confused by this write, are you wanting this person who is walking to be miserable? That is what I get from this. It can use some punctuation, I had to reread it a few times to understand what you were saying.
Don't be discourage by the rate, if you decide to edit, I would like to reread this and see what you came up with. Keep on writing.
Wow! I must say what an expensive lesson you had to learn.
I love the writing in this, everything was perfect, grammar, style, format, all of it is amazing. Thank you for sharing your story with us and I hope that many may have learned from it.
I love this chapter! All the emotions of the first meeting, ooo, can't wait to see the face when she sees who lunch will be with, hehehe
Great work, and I seen no errors whatsoever, so here are 5 s hehehe Keep going, my friend!
A good write but you style seems a little off for me, but I am sure that is just personal opinion. And with the style goes the flow and rythmn, this particular piece didn't catch my eye but remember I am just one person. I don't even really have a suggestion as to how you could improve upon it. I am sorry
Lady Stars
A beautifully well written piece. Not a flaw did I see, the lanuage of the gyspy who have down pat! I am impressed with such skill. I can see why it won, congrats to you.
Very good, your emotion started showing along the 2nd stanza. I think your 1st stanza needs a little something more to get the flow going. I like this piece how is suddenly turns from nice to sad. Great job, keep up the good work.
A very interesting write, very different, I like that, but you need to tighten up the grammar errors, it would increase the flow of your poetry a lot. Great work!
Lady Stars
OMG! What an evil mind that you have, my goodness. Another one that did surely keep my interest, and the twist at the end was unbelievable. I am stunned.
Lady Stars
Wonderful folder, although I have alread read a lot of them I was surprise to see there were some that I hadn't seen yet. Keep up the great work!
Lady Stars
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That is exactly what they look like. You have done an excellent job! Keep up the great work!