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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/leal
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4 Public Reviews Given
6 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
for entry "Chapter 1
Review by Leal
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
I love the overall concept of this short story. What would happen to society on the Moon if nuclear war broke out on Earth? But for me there are a couple of problems with beliveability. I have a hard time believing rain on the moon, given no real reason for it, or how it was created, in the story. And if the Moon had become this habitable, wouldn't the population have soared? But I totally believe LasVegas growing to the size that it borders on Southern Idaho!Then again, being dependant on power from earth, when all the solar power in the solar system would be there for the taking for free? (Maybe the power from earth supports the enhanced environment of the Moon, but that link isn't made in the story). However, the two large political enties of Moon society learning to work together for the survival of all, is a rich and hopeful part of the story, and very well expressed. I found what was written was very well written, but I wonder if the story could benifit from a little deeper development of the concept and a stronger finish. I think it has wonderful potential.
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Review by Leal
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I love this begining to what could be a great book. I was given just enough information to intregue me, and make me want more. I love the way the plot is unfolded and I want to read more. I am an avid scifi reader, and this is someething that I would love to read in it's complete form. My only critizen is sometimes the prose are heavily worded, such as the phrase "Regardless of whatever cause, whatever insult" or "Not that she would have spared any woman, had they been involved" Maybe these phrases and others in the work could use less to make them more, such as "Regardless of the cause, or the insult" or "Not that she would have spared a woman, had one been involved."
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