Very nice peace of work, and so true! I felt the emotions flow as I read on! And like this work stated, it is hard when families split, due to some or another event that shatters lives forever! With ten kids in my family, I have seen this too many times?
Thanks for the read, and keep on writing!
Maxamilium, AKA, Michel Paul Emile Lebel, published Author . . .
Not bad at all; but there is many grammatical errors in this peace which made hard to read, you may want to look this peace of work over again and give it clarification, so that it may easier to read . . . here are some examples
(dosent) . . . "doesn't"
she looks up and knows that (she) knows . . . "he"
they scream and shout until their (vouces) go . . . "voices"
when the fight is over (neith) of them know . . . "Neither" . . .neither or nor is always used in conjunction with each other?
Thanks for the read, and keep on writing, Maxamilium, AKA, Michel Paul Emile Lebel, Published Author . . .
Nicely done! There was a feeling of warmth as I read this peace, it must have been written for someone who was, or is cared about very much! Thanks for the read! Maxamilium, AKA Michel Paul Emile Lebel, published Author
Hello again, Bud! This is poetry mirrored within my own heart, I liked it much and will say that it as been long in the run since rightly philosophers filled the young and old with wisdom true to their hearts, and not those of wealth and corruption? I like the words used, and as a matter of fact wouldn't change a thing . . . and the reflection in the end fits well, do not fuss about it!
Hello, Buddy, it's been a while! When I read this one it felt as if you were giving thanks to all for reviews well appreciated, whether good or bad; you know, the building blocks that keep the mind flowing, and at most of times aspire the heart to go on ticking! Those that In not so may words and in time nurture the will and so forth . . . nicely done my friend . . . oh, by the way, you're welcome!
Not bad at all Buddy, and I see that you have them engraved in the heart, "them" the political machine! What will we do with all that freedom, should we with all attempts give it all back?
Nice stuff, and like you said political!
((((Corrupt minds, bear us on descent to hell.
Minions of Satan, wretchedly feign the farce,
Certify admittance to the torturous society,
where we can freely breed an immoral form.)))) nice . . .
Again, your chioce of word is rather unike in it's own way, keep up the good work and write on Pal!
Hello again friend, all is well this way! Again great stuff, and may the Kings or Queens slap themselves silly in the wake of morrows.
Someone should isolate you know who, which at this time do not dare speak the name of the nation gone mad? Ahhhh screw it, (the United States of America), whom in fact is trying to take over the planet, Lord help them!
Well done friend, and at this time have no bricks to throw at you, since the foundation on this one is fine!
Hello, kattwoman, and how are you? It is so true how badly people treat each other with stares and soft talk that at most of times wound us deeply if the finger felt is pointed at us . . . in most part due to ignorance and the lack of understanding obesity?
I felt your pain in this short poem, and thank you for sharing it with all on WDC . . . good luck to you and keep on writing!
Hi, Lyrical Faerie, and how are you on this day? Where are you? I can hear you but can't see you, He, he, ; Nice and deep within the nowhere . . . I think everyone must of thought about that at one point in time, what's wrong with them who did not?
Awesome poetry, made me want to disappear?
I like your like style, full and flowing, not sharp and cut off as most poetry work, as if all should be fragmented? Great style of (Free Verse) poetry!
Good luck with all young lady, and keep on writing, that was nice!
Ha, the love of Brothers, never but lost in quarrels, most likely trivial to life and the length of it! Born of the same blood otherwise shaken and not stirred for one rather then the other? Two in the hope of mothers love?
Well written willingly for the love of siblings which are sometimes hard to achieve in dire rates?
Hi, Nicole Garrett, and how are you on this a fine day?
Poetry lost in desperation so it seems, somewhat lingering on the edge of doom, well on the doorsteps of death!
All at this point hope do die, and in good fotune wake up and deside to fight to which is life, at most orf times hard and unbearable?
Words well placed made this one quite the nice read! Each stanza glorified with tales of its own that carry forth the prize; the end?
Hi, JDMac, hows it going? Somewhat the fear of rejection portrayed here, critism gone wild within words and not fully absobed! Maybe the way to the future obscured by doubt which devowers beings whole?
Felt the fear in he words and wondered at the hope lost!
Very well, keep on writing and good luck with all!
Hello, JDMac, and how are you on this day? A nightmare to say the least, one involving the (Boogey man) it seems. Night time could be hell for those afraid of the darkness, and most comforting for those whom love the quiet of it and its relaxing effect, where most often find deep smoothing sleep!
Not bad at all, as it makes you think of the obvious?
Wow, I have to say . . . one of the more original piece of poetry I have read on this site lately . . ,. very nice indeed and good choice of words, great as a matter of fact! You seem to have the master's touch with the pen and mind!
Deep poetry which made me think and enjoy! Great all around!
Good luck with all your work . . . where I will check out more!
I gave you a 4.5 just for the pain, ho, the pain!!!!
Wow, so much pain, how could you stand it?
Very well said . . .
(((You're not the words that exit my mouth
You're not the thoughts that enter my mind)))
Here, it touched me so!
(((Anger swells in my belly because of you
Tears welt my eyes because of you
Love is blind?
I'm blind)))
Very well when wrote . . .
(((I allowed this complication that was so simple
I allowed you to be the words, the thoughts
Watching the blindness slowly take hold
I'm lost in love)))
Well done, but you could have dug deeper for the words that rhyme, it felt cheap in some parts and well in others, maybe changing some of the words that end and rhyme a good thing to do . . . otherwise not bad at all!
The subject was sad but I felt the pain when read throughout, nice approach to the cause at hand!
A piece that speaks of pain throughout, at every word let the reader know how deep it hurts! You could feel the tension building up as the tale is rendered on and on!
the next line made me giggle . . .
(((i found a (peice) in the sand had to fight with the gulls...)))
Ho, piece is misspelled, and I would add an (and) before (had)!
The next leading line is the one that for me holds the reader!
((( i found once more a tiny shard but i'm still looking for the bits of whats left)))
Wow, profound to say the least, and all to real when at the cut of the wrist and the only one there to shed a tear, although at most of times to late to retaliate!
Short, but with reality on the mind, thanks for sharing it with all on WDC. Stay golden and keep on writing, where I'm sure will touch hearts in despair, only to be awaken!
I gave this one a 5,0, for its depth!
PS. you may want to change the title to (Unheard screams) no need for the (ing) it seems cumbersome!
Hi friend, my favorite Kiwi, and Squirrel extraordinary!
Wow, very deep indeed, you seem to have dug deep for this one! Not only do I like the flow, but also enjoyed the choice of words which in all and to each for sure is different all the time, as I am sure that to you it means something totally different . . . was it about friends and the betrayal of such . . . not sure what it means to you?
I must apologizes for the last review, when realized after that you were speaking in the moth's point of view, I should have read the header better, this would have revealed so?
I do admit that I enjoyed this one, although the lines were still broken up, it was easier to digest, and much easier on the mind!
I do have a question for you . . . what is a dweller of living carpets, never heard this said or written before, just curious, please, reply if have a chance to do so?
(((i have words for you dweller of the living carpet)))
Good luck and keep on witting!
Over and out, Maxamilium, Author.
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