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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/legerdemain
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1,499 Public Reviews Given
1,744 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I like to be honest and write about how I feel and what I see. It doesn't mean I'm always right - it means I'm telling you how your work affects me. I'll try to tell you the good with the bad, but don't expect fluff. Fluff sucks.
I'm good at...
Looking at format, spelling and some punctuation...except commas. I hate commas.
Least Favorite Genres
Technical essays, overly detailed fantasies and poetry.
I will not review...
Items that show no obvious effort at editing before promoting for review. If you spell "i" instead of "I", I will close the page and not review it. We're not idiots here.
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of Pink Button  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey who made that cool button? *Laugh*

It looks great in your portfolio. If you want to make it clickable to your portfolio, edit and put 100 in the "Link to Item" field in Image Settings. If you want it to send them to an item, put the item # there!

Regards,
Kim
2
2
Review of The Final Journal  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Damon Nomad

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!

I really enjoyed the imagery in your story and was happy the eighty seven year old grandfather was found alive. What are the chances? Nice work weaving your story in the lush building surrounded by rough terrain.

No suggestions for edit *Cut*:

You followed the prompt and your timeline carried the story well. Nice work with your dialog.

Overall, a good story.

Regards,
Kim
Visit Leger's port!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
3
3
Review of The Verdant  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello WriterRick

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!

What beautiful descriptions are in this story and your character, Elara is a very determined person. You followed the picture prompt.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Your story was pasted twice in the item.
*Bullet*Some dialog with the others that passed through the portal would have been intriguing.

Overall, your story seemed like just the beginning of a wonderful place for talented peoples.

Regards,
Kim
Visit Leger's port!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
4
4
Review of The lost city  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello Sumojo

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!

I liked the world you described and you did well describing the sorrow Aria and Kai felt. GCS felt probable and helped the placement of the story. I would certainly like my brain to be a bit reinforced, lol.

The prompt was followed.

Suggestion for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet* How did the plants live if it was "sand and dust" and the air was unsustainable to life?

Overall, an enjoyable story to read.

Regards,
Kim
Visit Leger's port!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
5
5
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Anna Marie Carlson

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!
This was a very interesting story. Making the desk anthropomorphic was a fun twist to the prompt. You gave the characters very interesting names.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Melody was more than py to arrange a meeting - "happy"
*Bullet*I would have liked to see more dialog - maybe after the word count limit for the contest.

Overall, an interesting read.

Regards,
Kim
Visit Leger's port!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
6
6
Review of Let It Grow  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello Amethyst Angel (House Mormont)

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!

This was a lovely story that followed the prompt well and I very much enjoyed the descriptions and dialog. You did a good job with the characters and emotions shown in the story. I believe Fiona and Joseph will be together after the story ends. What a sweet and noble gesture!

No suggestions for edit *Cut*:

Overall, a great read and entry.

Regards,
Kim
Visit Leger's port!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
7
7
Review of The Library  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello J.R. PETE

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!

I liked this story for a lot of reasons. You did a nice job of clarifying what your merfolk were like and its hierarchy. Your dialog was enjoyable and carried the story well. You included the prompt in an interesting way. The whale helpers were an awesome idea.

No suggestions for edit *Cut*:

Overall, a fascinating story I'd like to read more.

Regards,
Kim
Visit Leger's port!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
8
8
Review of Long After Humans  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello AmyJo- only 2 steps behind -

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!

Your descriptions of the prompt were done well. Nature certainly recaptures what humans try to build. This item felt more like a short essay than a story. I would have liked to see some characters and dialog.
This could be a good beginning for a story you could build. I'd suggest saving it for a nice scene in a future story.

No suggestions for edit *Cut*:

Overall, a nice description of the prompt picture.

Regards,
Kim
Visit Leger's port!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
9
9
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Averren

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!

This was well written. I enjoyed your characters and the battle with the beast. So clever and stabby :) I've never read the story these characters were from but they seemed well formed.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Heart* New word for me: outlawry
*Bullet*The work didn't contain all the components of a story, which you indicated at the beginning. I hope after the contest you can join the complete works.

Overall, a cool prequel.

Regards,
Kim
Visit Leger's port!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
10
10
Review of Sophia's Library  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello LightinMind

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!

I enjoyed this story, you did a good job of incorporating the prompt picture and weaving your story around it. Sophia and John were well rounded characters and I loved how the books had a new purpose.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Where did the slaves come from?
*Bullet*I'm not sure the quick jump to passion was necessary.

Overall, I liked the new rebuilt world and story.

Regards,
Kim
Visit Leger's port!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
11
11
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hello Joseph

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!

I liked your story, it was very adventurous. The prompt was included and had some good descriptions. While you ran out of word count, I'd like to see some dialog in the story when the contest is over. Only the bird spoke?

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*"their 3rd day they awoke" ~ third
*Bullet*Work on more show than tell.

Overall, a great start to your adventure. Watch out for those Wolf-creatures!
Regards,
Kim
Visit Leger's port!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
12
12
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello PureSciFi

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!
The Deathbringers is a cool idea. I enjoyed your images of them and how they destroy others. You showed the prompt in your story and I liked the squeamy way people were liquified.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Is Jeehon a place or a people?
*Bullet*"still stiff frozen body" ~ stiff/frozen is redundant
*Bullet*"Reading Material" ~ no caps
*Bullet*"her latest victim" ~ Surranon is male, yes? Gender seems interchanged in the story.
*Bullet*"“I agree that Young Ones shouldn’t be victims, but I don’t about them know about us and what we do." ~ Confusing sentence
*Bullet*Was the point of the story - the conflict of whether to leave?

Overall, a good read.

Regards,
Kim
Visit Leger's port!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
13
13
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Kotaro

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!

I enjoyed this story, the story Watanabe told, and the scene in the bar. You did a good job integrating the image prompt within. Too bad the pizza burned! There were a lot of wonderful nuggets in this story, like the part where the girl poured the fountain water in the hole. Very interesting.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*played-back ~ no hyphen
*Bullet*What was the girl's name?

Overall, a likeable story.

Regards,
Kim
Visit Leger's port!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
14
14
Review of The Sanctuary  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hello Massive Friendly Derg

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!

This felt like a summary of something more to write. You described the prompt image and suggested an idea but I wished to see something more fleshed out in a short story. You have the scene, now you just need characters and something happening.

Suggestion for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Write a story about what you see there.

Overall, it's a start.

Regards,
Kim
Visit Leger's port!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
15
15
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Geoffrey Williams

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!
Bringing the library to anthropomorphic life was a great idea. I liked how the building itself could be rearranged to suit the readers. I felt sadness when people stopped coming to the library. You did well showing the prompt picture in the story. As always, I like a story that ends with hope. I liked the meanings of the flowers.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*The last explorer, what was his name?

Overall, a lovely read.

Regards,
Kim
Visit Leger's port!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
16
16
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Beholden

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!
This was an enjoyable adventure and I could relate to Aurelius not wanting to give up the library. Your characters were well formed and I liked how you sent three on the adventure instead of Aurelius alone. You described the prompt well, almost too well. Your description was very lush but felt like it slowed the story a little. I would rather have seen more dialog.

A suggestion for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*"ambitions were leading them to.


Overall, a great story.

Regards,
Kim
Visit Leger's port!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
17
17
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello Graham Muad'dib

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" . Thanks for entering!
I enjoyed this story. From the beginning of Gerhard's adventure to his return, the surroundings and characters were very interesting. One of my favorites - "the feathers in his hat waving like a grotesque hand" The image gave me a chuckle. I liked how the library spoke so wisely.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*I felt like you brushed over Gerhard's decision to leave the library unfound to others. Perhaps due to word count.

Overall, a good read.

Regards,
Kim
Visit Leger's port!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
18
18
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello!
This looks like it will be a very handy tool, especially for busy people who rarely have time to respond to reviews.
I can see this being a useful setting if the item to be reviewed is being checked by a large group. Or if it is an item which doesn't need edit, like a photo, but the portfolio owner still wants to show gratitude for the portfolio visit.

Cool stuff! I know I have a few things I will use the Review Response on.
Leger~
Just do it!
19
19
Review by Legerdemain
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hello John Andrew Jenkins

Thanks for entering "The Writer's Cramp" !
I understand this is a short contest and take that into consideration, so please take these comments and suggestions as merely my opinion of what was posted.

Comments:
You had all the prompts bolded but unfortunately, you did not have 'holiday' as a genre choice so the work does not qualify.
This was a fun poem. Some of the lines didn't make sense to me but I thought they might be bits of lyrics.

Suggestions: *Cut*
*Bullet* "Sultan of Swing" and "Soldier of Fortune
With a lion's mane" ~ was this meant to show the reader an image?

Overall:
I liked the feelings this brought to mind.
Writer's Cramp!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
20
20
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hello John Andrew Jenkins

Thanks for entering "The Writer's Cramp" !
I understand this is a short contest and take that into consideration, so please take these comments and suggestions as merely my opinion of what was posted.

Comments:
All your prompt words were bolded but unfortunately you didn't choose the holiday genre, so the work is disqualified.

Stories that start with conflict are always interesting. Jellinen was a fun character, "booger butt".

Suggestions: *Cut*
*Bullet* What happened with the mower? Perhaps focus on that before moving on to the picnic scene.
*Bullet* In the cemetery - "He didn’t know what happened to his grandfather after he died" ~ wouldn't that be "before" he died?
*Bullet* Your story timeline only appears to be one day. How would the boy "stink" and get so exhausted as to lay down in a grave? Those parents must have phoned a lot of people quickly.

Overall:
Some interesting ideas, perhaps expand the story when not limited to the word count.
Writer's Cramp!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
21
21
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Hello JCosmos

Thanks for entering "The Writer's Cramp" !
I understand this is a short contest and take that into consideration, so please take these comments and suggestions as merely my opinion of what was posted.

Comments:
All the prompts are present, and holiday genre chosen so your entry is valid.
I liked what you described, while the whole work felt a little distant, telling the reader what is going on.
Arlington cemetery is a good image to pull into your writing.

Suggestions: *Cut*
*Bullet* Next time, try to pull your reader in so they can relate.
*Bullet* Was that a typo in the title?

Overall:
Great effort!
Writer's Cramp!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
22
22
Review by Legerdemain
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello OnlyMagicInkGlows

Thanks for entering "The Writer's Cramp" !
I understand this is a short contest and take that into consideration, so please take these comments and suggestions as merely my opinion of what was posted.

Comments:
This was amusing! It felt like a lot of family picnics, where you don't really want to go sit in the heat, but you end up having a wonderful time. Doesn't everyone have an Uncle Peter?

All the prompts were present so your entry was valid.

Suggestions: *Cut*
*Bullet* your uncle Charles is going to barbecue ~ "Uncle"

Overall:
A charming summer scenario *Smile*

Congratulations on your win today!

Writer's Cramp!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
23
23
Review of Moon  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Carol

I loved the feeling of this poem. How we observe the moon and how it must feel. The poem leaves a lot of questions in my mind. What does she want to be or do? How does she want to be seen? It feels cool and distant.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*It feels like the first line should have a period or the second line just capitalized for conformity.
*Bullet*"misunderstood and mistaken" ~ Comma after misunderstood.

Overall, a sort of sad poem, but still lovely.


Regards,
Kim

Just do it!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
24
24
Review by Legerdemain
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello JCosmos

Thanks for entering "The Writer's Cramp" !
I understand this is a short contest and take that into consideration, so please take these comments and suggestions as merely my opinion of what was posted.

Comments:

Your story had some awesome concepts. It felt like what scrolls down the screen before an epic movie. I can see lots of story ideas spawning from this. Especially the prison concept.

Suggestions: *Cut*
*Bullet*This was more tell than show, develop more characters, and flesh out a plot line.


Overall:
You followed the prompt and post instructions. Well done.

Writer's Cramp!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
25
25
Review of What on Earth?  
Review by Legerdemain
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello AmyJo- only 2 steps behind -

Thanks for entering "The Writer's Cramp" !
I understand this is a short contest and take that into consideration, so please take these comments and suggestions as merely my opinion of what was posted.

Comments:

I liked the poem and you followed the prompt and post instructions. I had this vague feeling, often where there is this rumor of some new invention. It always makes me want to search on the net for more information and all I run into is click-bait. And aren't they always really expensive?

No suggestions for edit. *Cut*

Overall:
I never found out about the new use for scandium!

Writer's Cramp!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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