Hello, what an interesting poem. it ran smoothly, with no grammer issues. From what i can see. however, the title and the final line confused me. I understood the unease and the pain but the fact that it said "the meal you made yourself" it feels unbalanced. nothing was never eaten nor made. it just says that a meal that was made, was made by you, the writer? but if that is the case, i would recommend to add something at the top that ties in the ending. right now it just feels a little off.
This poem dipicts a time when the writer was happy and innocent.She wishes to go back to the feeling because, somewhere down the line she lost that feeling. It was well writen and represents true pain of a lost emotion. Its there, she just needs to search for it. It's not easy but it is well worth to find it, in order to find peace within herself.
I understand what you are intending to do. However, I was having a hard time reading it because there are no periods. It is just a long sentence and for this reason words did not make sense to me. But other then that I get the feeling. I hope you able to find peace within your heart and understand your worth. because you are worth it. If that makes sense.
Very nice beginning. It has intrigued me to know more. It kept my interest and would like to more. The writing ran smoothly with no issues that I see. Keep on writing.
the story was short and cute. wanted to see who was this "Them." But we never do which i would say is a good thing cause you can decide what this them, is.
This is an interesting poem. Kind of gave me a feeling of a tribe gone sideways. Here are a few things I've noticed where questionable to me. Please see below.
If they my people when I hurt so would they ( missing "were")
However they can’t be you see because not everyone will stick by your side (Doesn't make sense. Is it missing an apostrphe?)
writen twice ( not sure if in error) Not everyone can love you no matter what
If you have put you trust in Christ than God and his Holy court are your people (doesn't make sense)
I enjoyed the beginning of this story. Its believeable about the kids being friends and I liked how you started to unravel the story. it kept my interest. The only thing that confused me and felt a little abrupt and come out of nowhere, is how the character Chalam was introduced. It was introduced and cut shortly, that it had me wondering what I just read. Other then that, good story. Keep on writing.
interesting concept of a story. I liked how it started and how it runs smoothly. It kept my interest. I actually want to know what is gonna happen next. keep on writing.
Very well writen. It kept my interest. The pain and the courage to stay strong is something that I am very aware. and it can be hard to drop down our sheild. sometimes it needs patients.
This poem remind me of that saying "I want to be loved and hugged. But at the same time, be left the hell alone." overwhelming with sorrow, yet I do ponder if there is hope somewhere. The poem ran smoothly and it kept my interest.
I think Cat's are great. You just need to find the one that is for you. I am sure they are out there. Cat's can be such a great creature. I love them. poem is short an sweet. shows the distaste and curiosty of a cat.
well, this story was rather interesting. Love was doomed from the beginining. however, bitterweet. It was writen nicley and it kept my interest. It reminds me of a song called "Perhaps"
This is an interesting. it kept my interest. Hope she finds peace in her heart one day. It's not the holiday she hates, its the memory that is revolved in it. I believe that she knows this deep down inside because she celebrates it with her kids. There is a deeper meaning but I like it. Keep on writing.
I feel the yearning for this person, in this poem. ONe thing that caught my attention is when you wrote "mi amor" I felt that.i say that to someone everyday and even though it means nothing to him, it means alot to me. keep on writing.
This sounds like something I do when I get out of work or when I need some me time. I assure you things will be all right. I liked it. I felt the urge for peace and quiet. Keep on writing.
This reminds me of my job and all the rats that seem to wanna bite and the king (supervisor) that thinks he knows best. I enjoyed the little poem. keep on writing.
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