First I just want to say i am very sorry for your lost. I know what it is like to lose some one so i am sorry. I hope writing this story has eased the pain. So next of all the poem was good I think it could have had more things in it though. So that's my tip for you try to add extra detail but keep up the writing.
Can you say disturbing and deep and dark. I can i loved this poem and it cured my writers block thank you. Don't worry not copying it. It just gave me a new direction to take with my short story. Well good luck and keep writing and i will check back to see what else you write.
First i want to say thanks. Thanks for taking the time to write this story. It must have taken a while. Secondly id like to say this is great. You took a simple idea and made it much more. I was surprised at how good it was cause i thought this site was for amateurs. When i read this it felt like i was in the fight surrounded by gunshots. Great job.
Wow.... just wow. I read the first three or four chapters before I was actually able to get into the story. But once I did I couldn't stop. Your characters were vivid and the plot/storyline was good as well. I have no idea how you came up with this story but good job and please write more.
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