Oh boy - my first impression was 'piece of cake' and thought I would ace this quiz. Guess it's been too long since I was in school. I didn't do so good afterall.
Nice quiz - good job!!
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Ah yes!!! The aprons. I had forgotten about those - sad to say. My mother always had one - and I had my own too. We had sewn them together - it was my first sewing project when she taught me to sew. And, she always had a surprise for me in her apron pockets! And everytime she put it on - you knew you would soon smell something sweet baking in the oven!
My mother and I were best friends. We lost my father when I was 10 and my siblings were older and married, so it was just the two of us for many years. That's what I miss from my childhood, my best friend. And I think that's one thing that many children of today never really experience; being intimately close with their parents and family. Family meals at the table instead of the TV. Family vacations where you spend time together fishing and talking or relaxing together rather than going their separate ways at the amusement park to 'meet back here in 4 hours...'
Thanks again! I am enjoying my stay in your port.
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Beautiful Story.
You are receiving a surprise port raid (for no particular reason) - I'll be in your port for awhile - you have a lot of interesting items.
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Click on these images for two great contests:
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** - OR - ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Invalid Item - - - - - - Christmas Story Contest 2006--CLOSED
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1141125 by Not Available.
Round 3 - Ended Nov 7th 2006
CONGRATULATIONS ON 2ND PLACE TIE
JUDGES NOTE: Each category will be rated from 0's to 5 's. All stars will then be totaled and averaged and this will be the item's final rating. This final rating will be used to determine the winners.
Following of Rules & Guidelines - = 5
- All rules followed
Spelling, Punctuation, Grammer - = 4
- Several dialogue sentences had no ending punctuation or ended with a comma
ie: "Knock it off", "...but, you need me,"
Imagery - = 4
- Good imagery.
Characters - = 4
- Good characters
Use of Dialogue - = 4
- Plenty of dialogue, each character had his/her own 'voice'
Plot - = 4-1/2
- Plot worked well, I liked the twist you used towards the end with the notebook
Overall Impression -
- Enjoyed the story. Good job!
Scoring: 1-= 1 point
Total Points (35 possible) = 29.5
Average (5 = perfect) 4.214
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1141125 by Not Available.
Round 2 - September 2006
CONGRATULATIONS - FIRST PLACE WINNER!!!!!
JUDGES NOTE: Each category will be rated from 0's to 5's. All stars will then be totaled and averaged and this will be the item's final rating. This final rating will be used to determine the winners.
Following of Rules & Guidelines -
- All rules followed
Spelling, Punctuation, Grammer -
- I saw no problems here at all - great job!
Imagery -
- Great Imagery! The way your portrayed your characters allowed me to develop an image in my head for each one.
Characters -
- Each character was separate and distinct, and fit your plot and story well.
Use of Dialogue -
- Great opening!
- Good separation of characters by use of dialogue. I could 'hear' different voices and personalities as each one spoke.
Plot -
- Good plot, flows well. (Love the name of the high school love story )
- Great ending! You sent that critic packing!
Overall Impression -
Great job - well written. I really enjoyed this item! Two very distinct characters which was obvious from the first couple of sentences. Good job!
Scoring: 1-= 1 point
Total Points (35 possible) = 33
Average = 4.71 (too bad there isn't a 3/4 )
Good job! You kept my attention through the entire story. And the story line was great.
One suggestion I would make is that whenever you have a sentence that is an internal thought, it should be italicized. As in the sentence: "Huh? What does this mean?"
Also - towards should be singular in "I look towards the bedroom closet" and I crawl on my hands and knees towards it..."
Good Job - Keep writing, and welcome to Writing.com !
How true this is. I too have parents and grandparents that I wish I could have one last conversation with. I am sorry for your loss.
Your letter is a personal item, and I really don't like to make suggestions on such personal things.
I only have one suggestion. In the sentence - "I think life didn't turn out the way you would've liked it to" - I would suggest replacing the contraction would've with would have (two words). I think it flows better. Quite often, a contraction breaks the flow of the words.
Wonderful. This flowed nicely, and the subject matter is great. Priesthood is just as you describe it. Double spacing it made it a little difficult me for to read - I would have liked to see it single spaced and the double spaced between each verse.
ie:
The priesthood power
To act for God
On earth is here today.
A sacred power of strength and faith
Requires we walk God's way.
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