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4 Total Reviews Given
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Review of Just as I am  
Review by Carl Decker
Rated: E | (3.5)
I like the ideas you have here and honestly I am not studied on what a Cinquain's form actually is, so take my words with a bit of salt.

I think this needs a bit more flow to it, too much abbreviation, for example: Second stanza, third line - "Her tears, like rain, cleanse her face." I would change it to, Her tears cleanse her face like rain, acceptance begged is hers to take; always * was hers.

There are a few other parts I would rewrite, but I don't want to come off as stomping on your writing, so if you want my opinion further, you're welcome to ask for it.

I'd also like to say that the message is nicely placed, the only thing I could find wrong was a bit of the arrangement.

Hope this benefits you! Have a great day!
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Review by Carl Decker
Rated: E | (5.0)
Excellent - Well written - Great form - Great insight. Well done, kudos.
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