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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/nanands
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5 Public Reviews Given
27 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
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Review by Anand
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
This is a difficult subject to deal with and you have displayed a great deal of sensitivity in putting it down. My compliments to you for that.

There is a concept of markers in biology whereby immune systems of living organisms do not make antibodies against their own tissues. Similarly within families there perhaps exist 'emotional' markers which prevent normal biological interactions between people who grow up together. So much so, very often boys and girls who grow up as neighbours without a break, find it difficult to fall in love. Please do not rush to point out to me that there are many exceptions to this! All that I am trying to say is that you need to go into little more details of that moment when the actual barrier is thrown aside. It could be an external event or an emotional upheaval. Even a girl who is not legally a major has enough knowledge and means at her disposal to put a stop to such an event if she does not desire it. It is not always the elder person who has to be blamed. I also do not believe that all sex related problems are created by women! Why I feel that the description of that precise moment is important is because most men and women mentally go to bed many young and old partners within their lifetime. Yet things remain stable because, in reality, boundaries are rarely crossed.

I don't know if I am making any sense.

Good luck. Do visit me sometime.
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Review by Anand
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
You describe the scene and the Julie's thoughts very well. My compliments to you for that.

I am sure you have heard the saying that facts are stranger than fiction. Sometimes fiction becomes unacceptable because it "so strange". Your piece has this problem. Hope you don't mind saying this. While such a thing could or did happen, it somehow leaves you dissatisfed as a work of imagination.

On the other hand, this incident could be the starting point of a longer story. You could go on to describe how Julie's life becomes even more unbearable. How she gets blamed for her son's death or how the twins get into trouble and so on...

As Katherine Anne Porter puts it,"Human life itself may be almost pure chaos, but the work of the artist... is to take these handfuls of confusion and disparate things that seem to be irreconcilable, and put them together in a frame to give the some kind of shape and meaning..." (Paragraph taken from Page no.1 "The World of short fiction", Second Edition, Edited by Gullason and Casper, Harper & Row, Publishers)
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Review by Anand
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I am not given to being genorous with my ratings. In your case you deserve the 4.5. It is a simple story written in a very touching way.

Now as to why I did not give you the remaining half a point in the review is for your delination of Andreas' character. His desire to show Eve around without any payment or reward seems too altruistic to be true. You may refuse a payment after you get to know someone better not before. It seems surprising that Eve too did not consider offering a small gift to Andreas at the airport. It could even have been an autographed picture. This does not seem to be consistent with the nice girl that Eve is!

I maintain that this is a minor point.
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