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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/natb
Review Requests: OFF
12 Public Reviews Given
854 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I write what I think. Hopefully it is helpful. I tend to be pretty blunt and straight to the point.
I'm good at...
I like to analyze characters and their behaviors/motivations. I like the words to flow well in the story and paragraph or chapter.
Favorite Genres
sci-fi, horror, fantasy, mystery, and romance
Least Favorite Genres
slasher fiction war
Favorite Item Types
short stories
Least Favorite Item Types
Novels
I will not review...
Erotica
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by two of four
Rated: E | (4.5)
The majority totally has it wrong here. If we go by hats, Stay Puft is a sailor and Dough boy is a chef. Okay I know there are some tough chefs out there, but with that round little belly and the girly giggle, I'm betting on the sailor. Of course, the Dough boy has the advantage of being a real advertising mascot, where Stay Puft is not. So what about the Dough Boy vs. The Michelin Man?
2
2
Review by two of four
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really like this. I love the form and the way the words flow from my tongue when I read this aloud. The emotions this piece evokes are rich and complex. Beautiful imagery. Excellent work.
3
3
Review of Unpaid Bill  
Review by two of four
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Interesting flash. I don't get much of a sense of desperation from your main character though I have plenty of background on him. There is a lighter tone and tongue in cheek feel about this piece. To me, Jeff is a much more interesting character than Billy. You do a good job with dialogue and the ending is excellent. There are some apostrophes left out and some misspellings that detract slightly from the overall impression of the story. However it is an enjoyable read.
4
4
Review by two of four
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Kate,

I love your humorous take on writing. Alysia is delightful and I identified with her right away. Description of Aysia's fantastic expectations is wonderful and cleverly done. I love the voice of the professor.

This is a fabulous example of flash fiction. You did a great job.

two

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5
5
Review by two of four
In affiliation with  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi,

Congratulations on being featured in the Horror/Scary Newsletter. Interesting story about the understanding of children. I love Joey's determination and perserverance.

I think there is a typo in the last large paragraph. 'Hank had been black with a while muzzle.' Do you mean 'white muzzle'?

I see a word count, so I'm assuming this was for a contest. I hope you did well. If the contest is over, however, you may want to add a little more to this story. I like the mother's response to Joey's explanation but it is a bit jarring. She seems about to say something else. You might be able to smooth that out a bit more and make it feel more like an ending.

Nice story.

two

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6
6
Review of Girl Watching  
Review by two of four
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Jace,

This was entertaining to say the least. A glimpse into a male's somewhat preoccupied mind. I caught no errors and thought the description detailed and flattering.

I like that you find all girls worthy of your attention.

Good job



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