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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/nicolek
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4 Public Reviews Given
38 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Niteowl
Rated: E | (3.0)
This is confusing at the moment. It seems like it might make a good start to a poem, but it doesn't stand alone. If you want, you could expand in several different ways. What did you write about in this journal? Why won't there be a sequel? Why is it so secret?

On a more minor note, you should add some punctuation and take out the random capitalization in the middle of lines.

Not terrible, but you should expand. Keep writing!
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Review of Dead Man's Curve  
Review by Niteowl
Rated: E | (4.0)
I thought this brought up some interesting ideas, but it still needs some polishing.

There are a couple typos. "fascinates" is spelled wrong in the first line and "closer" is also misspelled later on. Just thought I'd point those out so you can fix them.

"Heave above
greeted by"

Did you mean "Heaven?" If you did, I think you need to add something, like "Do we go to Heaven above...?"

You also should consider adding some punctuation to enhance the flow. There are a few spots where I got a litle lost, and I think punctuation would help.

Overall, pretty good! *Smile*
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Review of 12 o'clock  
Review by Niteowl
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This was entertaining! I'm sorry I can't give a more helpful critique, but it flowed well and just really captures the feeling of not being able to sleep. I feel this way all the time, most recently just last night. Great job!
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