Such a sad little story.Definitely worth the time to read. What a gifted storyteller you are! I don't even want to spoil the story by thinking about the ending yet I fear I must. When a story gets my attention like this one did, and take my word for it "it did that" and more, it is because of a talented writer! Thanks for letting me read and review it...Nina
You might consider capitalizing Thanks and Steve. I do think you have captured the imagination of anyone who writes and reads this. I know I will visit the website. You might consider placing this as a sponsored item for increased response from interested readers and writers! Thanks for bringing it to my attention.
In paragraph seven, insert the word A in the sentence, It was amazing because the inside looked like the outside of A castle at night. In paragraph thirteen, you might consider using Jackie and deleting the word he for an easier read. It has good characters and ends with a twist, I like that. Thanks for letting me read it.
First things first. I found one typo in paragraph seven, in the sentence beginning This caused me...instead of fell it should be fall. As for content, a wonderfully written story. I have read several of your pieces and all I can say is that you are one heck of a writer!
Very delightful! A good twist on the fable. You have a very clever imagination. I began reading this without basing in on the fairy tale but surprised at the concept. We need more fairy tales like this. Hopefully you will write more of these tales, much better than Grimm!
Excellent work. Imaginative, creative and direct.It was easy to read and kept you involved. It also made one think about what if...? A very good start, if the rest is as easy to read,, well-written and intriguing then I think you have something here. I'll be watching for the next installment.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ninadewriter
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.21 seconds at 5:42am on Apr 19, 2024 via server web1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
