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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ohlanaturner
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3 Public Reviews Given
3 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by ohlanaturner
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Even though this story is written to appeal to the D/S community, perhaps it is still possible to introduce a degree of complexity to the characters. I don't know much about the D/S community, but perhaps a man who craves sexual dominance does so because of a feeling of inferiority in his everyday life. Similarly, a woman who is sexually submissive may be weary of assuming a position of authority, and craves a release. If we see their sexual roles contrasted with their day-to-day roles, it frees the characters from well-worn tropes such as women being either shrewish, calculating ice queens (the mother, Annabelle) or wilting flowers. Similarly, Ean's total command of every situation becomes uninteresting if we never see it contrasted with a moment of vulnerability or uncertainty.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by ohlanaturner
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
They say that audiences can't resist a redemption story- the fall from grace, the climb, and the eventual reclamation of self with previously undiscovered knowledge. In this case, we find you- the protagonist- having already decided to be a helping hand to the world, and I wonder what your journey was prior to making that decision. Did you receive a helping hand from a Sister of Mercy that compelled you to fulfill that role for others? Cohen's narrative tells of the times he received grace from the Sisters, and in turn he lets the audience in on his "secret," paying it forward, but I am much more interested in what lead him to need the Sisters' mercy in the first place. We need to know where you are coming from in order to be invested in where you are going.
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