*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/orankell
Review Requests: OFF
3 Public Reviews Given
4 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Oran Kell
Rated: E | (4.0)
It's an adorable little slice of life story with a cute ending. I like the breaking of the fourth wall, it's one of my favorite styles of narration.

I do have a couple recommendations for you to consider if you wish.

1. Online work is much easier to read if you put a space between each paragraph. There's a lot going on there in a small space, spacing between paragraphs keeps it from being confusing to the eyes.

2. Each line of dialogue from a different character begins a new paragraph. The fourth line contains dialogue from two characters, it should be two different paragraphs.

3. It moves so quickly between so many kittens, it can be a challenge to keep up with. Some of that may be solved by paragraph spacing.

Well done, keep writing, and thanks for letting us read!
1 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/orankell