*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/sclose
Review Requests: OFF
12 Public Reviews Given
12 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Blood Demon  
Review by Howler
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
I enjoyed reading this story. You have a real feel for the description of the action. I was a little confused over which side the narrator was on at first, but I think I understand now that he's on nobody's side. I hope that's the correct interpretation. One criticism that crossed my mind was the ease with which the one Dark One that he faces that was twice his side that he took down with a simple knife thrust. I'm also confused by who he's referring to when he says "They created me for this purpose." I hope this review has been helpful, and that you keep writing! Feel free to message me if you'd like me to take another look.
2
2
Review by Howler
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I really enjoyed reading this story. You built up the suspense nicely, and established the setting with good description. The interactions between Tom and Bill were well written, as were the parts describing the effects of the isolation and guilt that Tom was feeling. I think the end was written nicely as well. There were a few parts that you did more telling than showing. I think the incident that occurred between Tom and Bill could've been more detailed, but that's a personal choice. Great writing! I hope that you keep it up!
3
3
Review of Greater Good  
Review by Howler
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
I like the idea behind the story so far, that Spencer is a ghost coming to terms with his new reality. There are a few areas where I believe you do too much "telling" and not enough "showing" I think the opening paragraphs need some work. The sentence "After he closed the door and started to brush his teeth, Stacy screamed." should probably be broken into two separate sentences, her screaming feels like there should be more of a feeling of being an unexpected and isolated event. Spencer's reaction almost seems non-chalant, as if her screaming in the shower was a normal occurrence. Overall, I like the idea that you're trying to convey. I think it would help to add more description about the surroundings and the characters. It seems like you're rushing to get to the end. I hope this has been helpful!
3 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/sclose