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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/sh5349
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113 Public Reviews Given
117 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Growing Cold  
Review by horsetrainer
Rated: E | (4.5)
I'm very partial to any peotry that rhymes, and this one was quite excellent. You were able to put all the thought and emotion into it that any poem can accomplish--even those that do not rhyme, where they are not bound by a limited number of words that will work.
I thought you pulled it all together expertly in the last stanza--the last line actually really did it.
I would have given this a (5), but I didn't particularly like these two lines:
"Falls in love with the wrong one.
And almost wishes she had a gun."
Sorry, but I guess after reading your other work I just expected better. However, everything else was worth a (5) in my point of view.
Sandra Hookham (horsetrainer)
2
2
Review by horsetrainer
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
As I said in my review of your prologue to this, it was so good that I had to go right to your portfolio and read more. Not only is this some of the best writing that I have ever had the privilege to read, but it is amazingly flawless--especially since you stated it is a "Rough Draft - Not complete."
[“Mary?” A man appeared around the corner of the large fireplace who I’d never seen before. I would have remembered this one.] I think you should have used "whom" in this sentence.
I am totally impressed with your writing. Another High-Five on this one.
Sandra Hookham (horsetrainer)

3
3
Review by horsetrainer
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is absolutely splendid writing: flawless imagery, emotional passion and sensitivity, superb in its subtle execution of actions and reactions, impressive deliberation and reflection of thought, and it all comes through to the reader so easy and real.
I do not give a (5) lightly; I have to be truly impressed. After reading this, I immediately went to your portfolio and read the first chapter. Needless to say, I was equally impressed.
Just excellent writing in every sense. Definitely a High-Five on this.
Sandra Hookham (horsetrainer)
4
4
Review by horsetrainer
Rated: E | (5.0)
Very nice, and quite unique. I am giving this a (5) for originality, as well as inspiration. What a great way to thank everyone at once and give them extra gift points for reviewing your writing.
Your advise is short and to the point--and should be well-received. Also, letting others know they aren't the only ones who have received a bad review at one time or another is good.
Sandra Hookham (horsetrainer)
5
5
Review of Descent  
Review by horsetrainer
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
A great surprise ending on this poem. You have taken something that seemed horrible and desperate, and at the last moment made me laugh. How great is that!
I would almost say this reads like a joke if it weren't so poetic in the way it is written.
I can't see how anyone could give this anything but a high-five!
Sandra Hookham (horsetrainer)
6
6
Review of Baptism of Rain  
Review by horsetrainer
Rated: E | (4.5)
This has a uniquely interesting concept within the words of the poem--or should it be a song lyric? Upon rereading it, I would think it could easily be classified as a hymn.
Nearly every line rhymes with itself if broken in half, and I find this a very interesting concept indeed--or maybe the stanzas should have been eight lines rather than four.
Very nice work!
Sandra Hookham (horsetrainer)

7
7
Review by horsetrainer
Rated: E | (4.5)
The thoughts here were excellent. The theme of the story told within this poem shows how life comes full circle. Betty was able to reap what she had sown.
I like the way the first two stanzas end with:
"...and quite unplanned,
Betty would come to me and hold my hand."
And then, the last stanza ends with:
"quite unplanned; it was my turn to hold her hand."
Another superb poem!
Sandra Hookham (horsetrainer)
8
8
Review by horsetrainer
Rated: E | (4.5)
I feel that this is one of those poems that can fit a multitude of situations. It is kind of like reading your horoscope: no matter what happens, you can make it fit somehow.
A generally happy little theme makes this the ultimate uplift for anyone. Just close your eyes and let the words take you away.
Sandra Hookham (horsetrainer)
9
9
Review of Touched By Love  
Review by horsetrainer
Rated: E | (4.5)
Excellent writing, but doesn't quite convey the super emotionalism that some of your other love poems do.
My favorite line? This one seems to say in one sentence what the whole poem is trying to convey:
"The greyest of skies still look blue to me,"
This poem makes the reader feel like nothing can get them down. I love it!
Sandra Hookham (horsetrainer)
10
10
Review by horsetrainer
Rated: E | (5.0)
I truly enjoyed reading this poem. It read smoothly all the way through. It had a lot to say, and you said it well.
This was my favorite excerpt:
"But when his eyes are opened
And he looks with love at others,
He begins to see not strangers
But understanding brothers."
I reads so beautifully and says so much.
Definitely a high-five on this one!
Sandra Hookham (horsetrainer)
11
11
Review by horsetrainer
Rated: E | (5.0)
The third stanza is my favorite. It really says it like it is. Someone once said: "America is only free to those that can afford it." Ain't it the truth!
No, maybe this one is my favorite:
"The butcher,
the baker,
the hot-coffee-maker,"
Well said, who was on that jury anyhow?
I also liked the combinations of stanzas and rhyming that you used. Very inventive.
High-five on this one!
Sandra Hookham (horsetrainer)
12
12
Review of Bumble Boy  
Review by horsetrainer
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I thought this was a most enthrawling story. However, I had pretty much guessed what was going to happen a few paragraphs before it occurred.
I didn't particularly like the ending, although the writing was very good. It definitely makes a statement, but it leaves the reader wanting to finish it with a happier ending.
Not overrun with mistakes, but a fair number, which a little more proofreading could have corrected.
You show some genuine talent in your writing and I would surely enjoy reading more of your work.
Sandra Hookham (horsetrainer)
13
13
Review by horsetrainer
Rated: E | (4.5)
Well written and informative. I would have given you a (5), but you left me wondering about two very important questions. You say you retired early, but then left us hanging as to how old you were when you retired and how old you are now. You also left me wondering: man or woman?
This certainly spikes ones interest in your work, and I immediately went to your portfolio to read your bio. But it still didn't tell me the two questions you have raised in my mind and made me so curious about.
I am also wondering who published your book or was it self-published. And if it was self-published, how are you doing with it. Ah, so many questions, so little time.
I am definitely looking forward to reading more of your work. Good going!
Sandra Hookham (horsetrainer)
14
14
Review by horsetrainer
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Meg:
You have been reviewing my writing for a while, and I decided I had better take the time to go to your site and look at some of your work. This is the first piece I read, and I thought to myself, "No wonder she likes my work--she writes just like me!"
You know what they say, "Great minds think alike!"
I have been so busy trying to accumulate enough gift points for a membership before my trial period runs out, that I'm afraid I have been neglectful to many who have given my work their time. For that I am truly sorry.
I didn't see a thing wrong with this poem, the rhyming, the story it told, everything was perfect. An extremely touching piece of work that rocks the soul.
Sandra Hookham (horsetrainer)
15
15
Review of Sticky Kiss  
Review by horsetrainer
Rated: E | (4.5)
A wonderfully romantic and uplifting story. Loved it! It made me feel young again.
I looked for your "Bio" but there was none. I am guessing you live in Australia because of the use of "Mum" rather than "Mom" and a lot of your slang I am not familiar with.
I am reluctant to address much for grammar, punctuation, or spelling mistakes, as I know things are done quite differently in other countries. But, the following sentence is definitely a run-on: “Yes, with double helpings of cream, we’re celebrating”. It could stand as two separate sentences--each with its own subject and verb--so if you want it to remain as one, it needs a semi-colon(;) or a dash(--) rather than a comma(,).
I caught a few other minor mistakes where a word seemed to be left out, but nothing major: "The crowds were thinning out and the next thing [I knew] we were standing beside [was] one of those Mobile Chip Shops (you could either use "I knew" or "was" to make this sentence read better); “'Yes please' I gave him one big hug and a nice gentle kiss on the lips and jumped out [of] the car." It needs either a period(.) or a comma(,) after "Yes please" also; "There where bound to be nights" Where should be were in this last phrase.
I would have given this story a (5), had it not been for the scattering of minor mistakes as I have given you examples of above.
There needs to be more of these "feel good" short stories out there to read. I can picture a whole book of them--covering a multitude of subjects--doing exceptionally well on the market. Very refreshing!
Sandra Hookham (horsetrainer)
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