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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/shaashay
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2 Public Reviews Given
2 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Walk With Me  
Review by Shaashay
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Nice lyrics, pretty straightforward! more than friends, I think this is a good fit for a love song.
One thing, add a nice little hook in there, it'll give your song a good spark.
Good one, keep going, and hopefully check mine out as well!

Cheers! :D
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Review by Shaashay
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hey,
Reading this piece I got the feeling that you're on two different sides of the same coin at once. You say you adore him, but one side of you is kinda drifting to the "is it right?" side. I may be wrong, but it's certainly what your poem delivers, at least to me.
Try adding a bit of flair, by flair I mean, add spice, something attractive. Use more catchy words and things as such. Trust me, it'll turn out great. Who knows? Maybe you'll find your own unique style? :D
Of course, you've written it from your perspective, so it's valuable. What can't be said, can always be written! :D

If you've got time, mind checking out my stuff? I've a few related to this theme, maybe you'd pick up some ideas? It'll help us both!

Cheers!
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