Hello Barefoot Bob
Congratulations on your Writing.com account anniversary this month! I'm sending this review in honor of the occasion, courtesy of the "Anniversary Reviews" activity.
Premise
Pairing the idea of a romantic interlude with a skydiving encounter is a great way to create excitement and a sense of novelty.
Story
I found myself wishing that there was a little more dramatic conflict in the story. From the outset Sophie and Beeper seem to find each other incredible attractive, and everyone else seems to encourage their relationship, lending a feeling of inevitability to the events in the story. I think it would have added an element of further excitement and dynamism to have a bit of uncertainty or conflict to the story. Perhaps something like another character competing for one of the protagonists' affections, or Sophie having not just a mild fear of skydiving, but a real reluctance. A moment of conflict would create a bit more tension which would increase the payoff of the story.
Characters
Sophie and Beeper were interesting characters that were fun to follow along with. The supporting cast of characters felt a little one-dimensional in terms of all kind of serving the same story purpose, but the fact that a few characters (Beeper, Stick) had nicknames made them a little more endearing.
Dialogue
The dialogue kept the story moving along at a good pace, and was well distributed throughout the story.
Structure
I think that Beeper telling Sophie that he loved her before jumping out of the plane undercut the moment where he tells her that he loves him at the very end of the story. I'd recommend holding off until the very end so that the moment really pays off.
Technical
No technical errors that I could find. Nice job!
Overall
Overall, this was a fun story with a great premise. It was an easy, entertaining read.
I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another WDC author!
Respectfully,
Jeff
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy"