I enjoyed this search immensely. I found the most efficient way to solve it was to go after the smaller words. I would invariably stumble across the larger phrases. My only suggestion would be to use 'kindness' rather than 'kindess.' Also, some of your phrasing choices made me wonder if you were using either a NIV or a NKJV bible. That's just idle curiosity on my part, though.
An enjoyable little poll, though I would have either included "Other" as a choice, or worded the question to include "of the four movies listed below," or words to that effect..
I enjoy reading and adding to an interactive that I enjoy, though I tend to pass over those that have in their description "Please Add," or some variation thereof. So using an "In and Out" seems a good way to advertise and keep the advertised contents "fresh" by keeping them circulated. Great idea!
So my first question is, did Joe actually use the word 'gravid?' Is that a word snake breeders use to describe their pregnant snakes. Otherwise, this was a captivating tale!
First of all, I did appreciate the informative link at the bottom.
My only two suggestions is perhaps some kind of change in the first stanza, in the line "the age of humanity." When I read your poem out loud, to me this was a rhythmic stumbling block.
And the use of the article "the" when referring new ages and epochs seems a little too detached. When I read out loud and substituted "this" for "the," it gave me a sense of immediacy and made me own the responsibility for the situation.
I loved the imagery and the emotions you evoked in this story in this telling. If I were to make one change (and it almost seems blasphemy to even suggest that, particularly after your superb ending), it would be with one sentence:
The fan moans with every pass, flickering shadows while the incandescent light baths the room in a dull, yellow glow. I can see the image you are creating, but for some reason the phrase 'flickering shadows' just seems very awkward here, but I am afraid I can't suggest something better.
But otherwise, I must applaud you for a very well written piece of prose.
From my point of view, I find nothing inherently wrong with getting a tattoo other than, as you state, if it turns other away from our Creator. The Jewish people are a special case, since the mitzvah against tattoos for them is a commandment that separates them from other people, since they are the people who are bringing Torah to humanity.
Other than that one elaboration, I thought you did well in presenting your viewpoint, and the research that helped you reach your viewpoint. Probably the one editing I might do is mentioning a particular ethniticity when arguing in favor of tattoos.
Although the nice choices you listed might not be the ones I would go with (although I would use part of them), I do like the fact that you used all the slots available, you gave the 'Other' option, and you used both historical and contemporary figures! Excellent job!
First, you are to be applauded in that you did not use contemporary Western leaders. The only thing I might suggest is that you would add more choices, But otherwise, I like the direction you went,
The spelling of your title should only have on 'T' at the end, not two,. I would have included more city of choices, and thrown in the choice of 'Other' as well.
I would have expanded the choices to include Presidents before 1945 as well. And possibly expanded the ideological spectrum of the choices, such as including Jimmy Carter in the mix.
This was an interesting thought exercise, and I guess my only suggestion would be an expanded list of choices, and not just from the political or celebrity arenas. Warriors, philosophers, scientists all! And I guess I wouldn't have minded seeing some non-Western figures thrown in there as well, such as Brahmagupta
A very informative essay, which I must applaud for not straying from its subject, i.e. the history of the secession movement in the Maryland and the steps the Lincoln administration took to prevent it. I have to problems with the essay, though, with both being in the presentation, and not the content. References in the main part of the essay were awkwardly presented, and I would have preferred the traditional method of references, i.e., numbers in the text which corresponded with footnotes at the end of the essay. Also, in your bibliography, I would have taken advantage of WDCs formatting capabilities, and made the references to internet sites active hyperlinks. Otherwise, it was a very good essay, and I appreciate your thorough documentation.
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