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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/styxx
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14 Public Reviews Given
39 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Chapter 2  
Review by styxx
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
I wanted more... not a bad thing to leave the reader to compete the story in their own imagination. I couldn't help thinking that this is the prequel to something much longer.

What is it about hotel rooms? It doesn't matter where in the world you are, they all seem to have been designed by the same artist.

Nice short piece.
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Review by styxx
Rated: E | (4.0)
Captivating entree to something much longer me thinks. You might want to insert "BE" in the last line, as in; :would BE the rest of her life.
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Review by styxx
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Why is it that many of those engaged in Human Resources have double barrelled names? Why is it that those same persons seem to have had a personality by-pass? My last question is, why do HR personnel want to meddle in traditions that really should be sacrosanct?

The sad thing about this story is that it is happening all over the world in the name of progress and efficiency. The HR department I am afflicted with (has at least two people with double barrelled names), continually streamlines procedures and, therefore, reduces that work force and increases the expectations of output from those left behind.

Father Christmas has just been hit with the HR mafia. If only we mere mortals had the same powers of stopping time and kicking them into orbit. This story provides a ray of hope to those who are the victims of the cull.

Thoroughly enjoyed this short piece. Thank you for posting it.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Meeting the Ex  
Review by styxx
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hi JLoran,

I admit to having been left wanting a little more. The short story, obviously describing an afternoon interlude, didn't describe the reason that Laur took such delight in seeing Gregory and Brett have a spectacular break up. I could understand if Laur had also previously had a thing with Gregory, but that isn't the case. Why does she derive a perverse pleasure in Gregory's demise?

I thought it somewhat unusual that this historical couple should both switch their sexuality (implied rather than explained), it would have been worth a few lines on how that came about and perhaps a brief outline of why Brett should be so angry at Greg's lies. From the reading, his reaction is extreme, so there must have been an underlying reason.

Apart from wishing for more information, the short story was entertaining and did not contain any mistakes that I could discern.

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Review by styxx
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
This is a very nice story, but spoilt by the formatting, making it hard work to read. That may not necessarily be your fault, more to do with the version of software you used to write it in.
One criticism is the need to start a new paragraph as different characters speak. Otherwise, things have a tendency to run into each other, causing the reader to have to back track.

A good story though.
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Review of Math Tutor  
Review by styxx
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
A nice beginning. Could do with a little description of surroundings and emotions, but otherwise a fine effort so far.
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