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14 Public Reviews Given
14 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Tremor  
Review by The Wolf Emperor
Rated: E | (1.0)
One huge block of text makes this very hard to read.

There's a lot of run on sentences, no dialogue tags, no paragraphs. The story has a lot of action with no real substance.

I can see you made some kind of effort but it's very amateurish and I think if you want people to help you improve on this, the least you can do is break up the text.
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Review by The Wolf Emperor
Rated: E | (5.0)
I received a thoughtful review from one of your reviewers.

Positive reviews are great but it takes effort and dedication to help a writer improve and that's what I feel this reviewer did in spades.

Please accept this donation in support of your group and your continued efforts towards helping writers hone their craft.
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Review of Toilet, Brush  
Review by The Wolf Emperor
Rated: E | (4.5)
Nothing like a poem that deals with the harsh realities of the busiest seat in the house.

A good flow. The rhyme scheme was smooth and natural. The imagery was both humorous and straight to the point.

My one suggestion is to maybe switch the second and third paragraphs.
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Review of Hidden Meaning  
Review by The Wolf Emperor
Rated: E | (3.5)
If you're going to include the title in the item, you should enter it and put it in bold so readers know to separate if from the actual story.

The billboard was in the middle of town


I know there is a time and a place for passive voice but it should never be the first sentence. This is something I see in a lot of stories and it's something that can easily be fixed with a little rewording.

Maybe something like, "Every day we passed a billboard that rarely caught my eye."

Or something else that fits within your word count limit.

I didn't get a little confused with the resolution. If the sign was a hoax, how was there a winner? That part is a little unclear to me.
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Review of The Handkerchief  
Review by The Wolf Emperor
Rated: E | (5.0)
It's a sad story of a man who only wants what someone else has thrown away.

There's such an emotional gut punch at the end when the officer tells him to move along. As if to say, "You're both unwanted pieces of trash and I'll not suffer you to compliment one another."

It takes an incredible amount of skill to be able to pack such a strong story into fifty words.
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Review by The Wolf Emperor
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
The first two paragraphs are the same, except for a few differences. It makes me think you were trying to rewrite the first paragraph and forgot to delete one.

Overall I liked the build up and the revelation that these two really didn't plan this as well as they thought.
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Review by The Wolf Emperor
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
A good read over all. You could do with a bit of pruning in some parts. Like this line in the fourth paragraph:

With a sigh, Reginald rose and walked through the living room towards the door.


Since we know the knock came from the front door, you don't need to remind us where he's going. We're going to assume that's the door he's heading for, unless he's very confused about the layout of his own house.

I would also suggest changing the description as it's misleading. He doesn't want to be a vampire, that much is clear. But there's nothing in the story that suggests he's anorexics.
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