Hey, its been awhile for me, but I see that you are still creating wonderful works. I like the way you inserted the prompt into the story without it being the central point. The quick reversal at the end shows that your wit is still in full force. I look forward to reading the rest of your entries. Teresa
I enjoyed the opening chapter of your story. You have set in motion the conflict that continues to draw the reader into your world.
You do need to do a review for the proper use of words, (using to instead of too, is one example).
This chapter did not read as smooth as the prologue. There is one paragraph that includes many -ly words. It tends to distracts me as a reader. There are a few places where a grammar checker might help also.
Please do not be discouraged by this review. Despite needing work, the story itself is wonderful and I look forward to reading more of your work.
Keep writing, keep faith in your talent and continue to allow your imagination to power your world.
Teresa
I totally loved this story. The descriptive passages took me staright back to my grandparents home in South Carolina. Even Cora, your main character reminds me of my own grandmother. We lost her recently and before she passed, we dealt with very similair circumstances. You have easily brought a wash of memories to my mind. For that alone, I thank you. It really felt like you were writing about my family.
The buzzing bees, chicken feathers and her faithful hound dog all evoke the comfortable setting of my beloved and missed Southern relatives. You used so many details with such skill I didn't have to use my own imagination to picture your story, it was all there for me.
Great work!!!
I truly enjoyed every aspect of this contest. The challenges each day forced me to write even when I did not feel the urge. The prompts for actual writing were original and the review requests benefit both other participants and the reviewer. You really did make us work for the prize. I look forward to future contests run by this member.
If I was forced to find an issue with the contest, the only one would be the lateness in announcing winners for the last few rounds. But I am sure that "real life" interfered, which happens and everyone must understand that.
The rules were stated clearly and there was no misunderstanding as to what was required of the participants. You were encouraging in your responses to the posts and the themes for each day were posted within an expected time period.
What a lovely poem. You have vividly described the beauty of a simple flower and allowed me to visualize it clearly. You did a wonderful job with this poem, it is a pleasure to read.I like the way you carried the photography idea into both the first and last stanza.
One small suggestion, and its just that, a suggestion, since I am not a poet. Maybe add another line to the last stanza to match the number in the first one. It might help the flow, but it works fine the way it is.
Keep up the good work.
A wonderfully twisted use of the prompt. I could feel Lisa's anticipation as they neared the park. You made good use of every word alloted for this contest. Good luck and I look forward to reading more of your entries and other work.
Teresa
Oh My God!! This is totally hilarious. I love it. You are awe inspiring. The freshness and originality is overwhelming. My kids think I am crazy now more than ever. I almost knocked the puter out of my lap laughing so hard. Thank you so much for including me in your brillant dialogue.
I enjoyed your story of young parents and their different ways of handling the life they were thrust into.
You delicately deal with Kayla's choices without placing any judgment on her. The deepening depression and subsequent actions are dealt with by the author easily.
Jayden's innocence of exactly what is happening to his family and how Kayla feels is handled extremely well. I could feel his love for both Kayla and Blake in every action you eloquently describe.
I am glad to have found this story. I look forward to reading more work like this from you.
I enjoyed this heartbreaking tale. You wove a compelling story of the depth of love. The twist and ending were unexpected yet fitting for this story. You left me wanting to know more about this man, who literally gave his life for another person's peace.
Thank you so much for sharing this story.
I am enjoying your story as it unfolds. You have written a group of characters that draw my interest so completely. I read through the first seven chapters last weekend and loved the way you wove the sexual aspects with the emotional. I look forward to read more of Ean and Erin's adventures.
This is a great story !! By George, I think you've got it !!! You have managed to show the contrast between the have and have -nots in this flash fiction tale. I honestly think with a little tweaking you would have something worthy of publication. A few passive words but its a great story.
A great story. I know exactly how you felt during this story. You managed to convey the frustration I have struggled with on a daily basis. Good job! Maybe I need to pick up an inspiration dispenser.
Great Job
Teresa
A fairy tale ! Great story ! I enjoyed reading this. I imagine you could expand it into a longer story that would read wonderfully. Good luck in the contest. I will be posting mine in a few minutes. I still have to fix it up a bit. have you checked out this contest?
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The Writer's Cramp (13+) Write the best story or poem in 24 hours or less and win 10K GPs! #333655 by Sophy
A very cute story with an extremely realistic twist. I enjoyed a chuckle at the ending. You gave an accurate accounting of the harsh realities of parenting and internet dating. Good Job!!
Very nice story. You used the prompt and the character of the fortune teller in a wonderful way. I am able to 'see' her grabbing Bobby's wrist to stop him from leaving.
The idea of a puppy being his new love and bringing new life to Bobby is a great twist.
General Impressions
I enjoyed the premise of your story. I really like the idea behind your story, but it does need work.
Characters
The character of Scott elicits sympathy from the reader. I would like to see a clearer way of expressing his thoughts. Overall Feeling
I really liked the premise of your story. It is a unique take on the differences in religions. I would like to see some serious editing done on this piece. I believe that if you put the time into working on your presentation, this could be a very powerful story. You have developed an outline that needs to be worked on. I hope I am not offending you, but feel it necessary to point this out. Tighten up the telling of the separation of the heavens. Give more concise details. Remove some of the passive words and add more punch to your sentences. Watch for the repetition of words in the same paragraph, or even the same sentence. Grammar & Spelling
I hope that you will run this through a grammar check. I am not qualified to give you detailed advice on this subject, but believe the telling would benefit from this. Grammar assists the reader while reading, leaving us clues to ease our way through your work.
Your imagination and obvious talent need to shine through and the difficulty I had in spots with this work hid that.
Thanks for sharing this item! Please accept my suggestions as just that, suggestions only. In the end, this is your work and should reflect your vision. I only review things that I enjoy and I truly did enjoy this piece. Please keep on writing!
General Impressions
A very unique take on the prompt. John's hopes are very clear, as well as his fears for his future. Favorite Parts
Big floppy shoes, gotta love them. Great line. Overall Feeling
Excellent short story. I loved the last line also. Grammar & Spelling
All appeared spot on to me.
I love the diversity I find from different uses of the prompt. Great job.
Thanks for sharing this item! Please accept my suggestions as just that, suggestions only. In the end, this is your work and should reflect your vision. I only review things that I enjoy and I truly did enjoy this piece. Please keep on writing!
General Impressions
Wow, this is an emotion filled story. Favorite Parts
I cannot pick a single part I liked best. Your ability to put emotions on display via simple statements is very powerful. Characters
I felt a connection to your main character right from the start of the story. Well done. Overall Feeling
I enjoyed reading this piece. You have eloquently expressed what so many people must feel when confronting a parent who abandoned them. Grammar & Spelling
No noticable errors.
Thanks for sharing this item! Please accept my suggestions as just that, suggestions only. In the end, this is your work and should reflect your vision. I only review things that I enjoy and I truly did enjoy this piece. Please keep on writing!
General Impressions
I am a big fan of vampire novels and enjoyed the unique take you have on them. Favorite Parts
I had different parts of each chapter that I enjoyed. You are quite handy with your descriptions, though some of your adjectives seem to be a contrast to what you are writing about. Characters
I like Layna. The slave trader seems a bit strange, is he a vampire also? Is that the reason for his accent? Overall Feeling
With some serious work, you have the beginning of a very nice story. I was confused by the prologue, but once I found your port, I was thrilled to find three more chapters. I really did enjoy this story. Grammar & Spelling
You might want to have someone who is better able than myself do a grammar check. I still have issues with it. I did notice a tendency to run on sentences and some comma misplacement.
Thanks for sharing this item! Please accept my suggestions as just that, suggestions only. In the end, this is your work and should reflect your vision. I only review things that I enjoy and I truly did enjoy this piece. Please keep on writing!
General Impressions
I enjoyed the idea of your story.
Favorite Parts
The ending is my favorite part. Allowing your main character to remain true to himself is a believable way to finish this story.
Characters
I would have liked to see more dialogue between the characters. I hate to use this phrase, but, more show less tell. Having David and Miranda talking about the issues between them would allow the reader to feel the emotions better.
Overall you have written a piece that, if tightened up, could allow the reader a glimpse into the choices a person must make to be true to themselves.
Good Job.
Thanks for sharing this item! Please accept my suggestions as just that, suggestions only. In the end, this is your work and should reflect your vision. I only review things that I enjoy and I truly did enjoy this piece. Please keep on writing!
Excellent story of the choices we must make in today's world and the affects we can have on another person's life. You actually had tearing up at the end. Very good work. You touched an emotional core with your story of a child's pain. the gratitude Sarah expresses after her rescue and Mrs. Williams guilt are very touching. Well done !
WOW, what a lovely story. I enjoyed taking a walk with Stacy and her Mother. The ending was handled very well. The mystery element in the ring sounds quite realistic. I can easily understand the way Stacy felt when she placed the ring on her hand. I look forward to reading more of your work.
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I really liked this piece. I will attempt to 'keep it light'. Thank you for giving me a lift in spirit today. 
