This was beautifully written! You definitely know how to put words together to draw the reader in immediately. I will say this, though. When writing dialogue, it’s important to show who is talking. There are only 2 people in this scene so it’s not hard to figure out here. Just a note for future reference. The setting is not well described, just an endless field with a single tree. Usually that would be a bad thing, but it works here. Is it really a dream? Are they in an endless abyss? Are they trapped between 2 worlds? We don’t know and neither do they! That gives plenty of room for the reader to go on this journey of discovery with them. Good job! In the beginning, you could tell they were strangers but there seemed to be some sort of familiarity between them. Maybe develop that a little bit more.
Overall I enjoyed this excerpt and I hope you found this review to be helpful. Happy writing!
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/tmoore92
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.19 seconds at 12:40pm on Apr 25, 2024 via server web2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
