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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/toddcarnes
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Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
I thought it was a pretty good story over all, but you have some word usage issues.

One problem you seem to have is knowing when to use the word "then" and when to use the word "than". Nearly every instance of the word "then" in your story is incorrect.

For example:

What beast can fly higher then my wings?
What beast is stronger then my body?
What beast is more lovely then my face?
What beast is utterly harmless?"

Should read:

What beast can fly higher than my wings?
What beast is stronger than my body?
What beast is more lovely than my face?
What beast is utterly harmless?"

Another example,

"I'm still higher then you," he said with less confidence then he had before.

should read:

"I'm still higher than you," he said with less confidence then he had before.

There are others.

Also, I know this is nitpicking, but "I might be able to find the answer, Father, but I'm going to have to some research in the castle library first." is missing the word "do".

It should be "I might be able to find the answer, Father, but I'm going to have to do some research in the castle library first."

Finally, the following section is too wordy and redundant...

Well, word of the Sphinx's challenge spread all through the land. The king himself was not very good at riddles, so he put the challenge to his three children, two boys and a girl. The girl, Esmerelda, was the least interested.

I think it flows better like this...

Well, word of the Sphinx's challenge spread all through the land. The king himself was not very good at riddles, so he put the challenge to his children.

His daughter, Esmerelda, was the least interested.

You don't need the "three children, two boys and a girl". They just bog down the narrative. The reader will learn the king has two son's and a daughter later when they read the rest of the story and they learn through the natural flow of the story instead of you just blatantly halting the narrative to inject the information into the story.

Thanks for the story. I hope my comments are helpful.


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